Dirty Aristocrat

‘Doesn’t have a pot to piss in?’ I said.

She smiled. ‘No, I was thinking of something else, but that will do. I left him shortly after I conceived Ivan. I always wanted my child to have a title. They’re so useful. Then I

married Robert for his money, but he was … too headstrong and too selfish. Too much like me, I guess. I divorced him and married my current husband who is perfect.’

I stared at her, stupefied by her honesty. She was an awe-inspiring woman. The way she totally owned all her actions was impressive and empowering. She knew what she wanted and went out

and got it, and in return for her unflinching honesty she seemed well adjusted and totally at ease with all her decisions.

Betty came in with another girl carrying silver trays filled with a teapot, cups, and a three tier cake stand loaded with finger sandwiches and cakes.

Ivan’s mother picked up the pot of tea and began to pour it into two cups. Then she looked at me inquiringly.

‘Milk and two cubes,’ I told her.

She added the milk and sugar and passed the cup and saucer to me. Her hands were rock steady.

‘Thank you,’ I said, and took them with a smile of thanks.

She helped herself to a finger sandwich. ‘Cucumber. My favorite,’ she said.

I reached out, took one, and bit into it.

She put the plate down. ‘It’s nothing like Southern food, is it?’

‘No. If we see something we like we immediately smother it in cheese and fry it.’

She makes a comical face. ‘I had Country ham once with a gravy made of black coffee called red eye gravy, cat-head biscuits and melon. It was rather delicious, but very filling.’

‘My granddaddy used to say that Southern food always got him so full he felt like he was fifteen months pregnant. He swore he even got contractions.’

She laughed and so did I. I liked her.

She raised her cup, took a dainty sip, and put it back on the saucer. Then she regarded me, her smile quite genuine and totally harmless. ‘So,’ she said softly. ‘You’re in love with my

son.’

The cucumber sandwich in my mouth felt like a lump of clay. Heat rushed up my throat and into my cheeks. I swallowed and looked at her pleadingly. ‘Yes, but please don’t tell him.’

She laughed. ‘I won’t. He is perfectly capable of running his own life.’

‘Thank you,’ I said gratefully.

She smiled mischievously. ‘You will be good for my son. It’s about time he had a real woman in his bed instead of one those vapid creatures he is so fond of picking up in all those

strange clubs he frequents.’

After our tea, I asked her if she wouldn’t mind if I wandered around the grounds. Her eyes crinkled at the corners.

‘My dear, you don’t need permission to walk these grounds. Tomorrow you will be the mistress of Foxgrove Hall.’

‘Thank you,’ I said.

‘I am returning to London in the next half hour to catch up with some old friends, so I will see you at the registry office tomorrow.’

I nodded. ‘Thank you. I’m glad I met you,’ I said sincerely.

‘By the way, while it’s true that it is not often my son comes up with a good idea, you really should start calling me Bobo.’

‘It doesn’t suit you.’

She smiled warmly. ‘That’s where you’re wrong, dear child. It’s the perfect camouflage. Ivan’s father came up with it. Bobo. Doesn’t it make you immediately think of a brainless Duchess

or a soft toy?’

I grinned at her, liking her even more. ‘See you tomorrow, Bobo.’

‘Until then,’ she said.

I knew Ivan was busy working in the library and I didn’t want to disturb him, so I went out through the conservatory and walked out past the formal gardens towards a wooded area. I took

a narrow path until I came upon a breathtaking landscape. It was filled with tall straight pine trees. Their barks were covered with dark green ivy. I had never seen such a thing before.

It was an amazing sight. Like being in a fairytale.

For a long time, I stood staring at the enchanted scene until a couple of rabbits caught my attention. They were brown with white on the undersides of their tails and they chased each

other until they disappeared in some undergrowth. Still smiling, I moved on and followed a little stream. A couple of ducks were sitting on the bank and I was struck by the unspoilt

beauty and wonderful silence around me. I sat on a rock and stared into the water. I heard a sound and turned. Ivan was a few feet away.

‘Hey,’ he drawled.

‘Hey yourself,’ I said, my heartbeat quickening at the sight of him. How on earth did he manage to look sexy in rubber galoshes? I wished I had worn a pair too, seeing that I had

completely ruined my shoes in the mud on the pathway.