But an hour before the time he was supposed to pick me up for dinner, I was seated on the floor of my bedroom surrounded by clothes none of which was good enough for my dinner with him and feeling frustrated. I didn’t want to wear jeans again, but I had nothing else that was nice enough. I couldn’t even get into some of my old dresses because of all the weight I had lost.
Nichole pushed the door open and came into my room. “What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to be at the bar 7:30.”
“Yeah, but I don’t have anything to wear … oh, my God, what’s that?” She had a transparent garment bag protecting the most beautiful frilly chiffon dress I’d ever seen in my whole life. It was a pale pink with grey roses and delicate ruffles.
“This is what I spent two month’s worth of a paycheck on,” she explained, twirling the hanger tantalizingly in front of me.
As I watched her I knew that she was about to offer it to me and I couldn’t understand why. My eyes widened. “Are you letting me …”
“It’s a Zimmerman dress,” she said, carefully pulling the zipper down. “I haven’t worn it yet, but you have absolutely nothing else to wear. Wait, that’s not true.” She revised her statement. “You have absolutely nothing to wear that would make you feel amazing, especially given the major hunk you’re going to meet.”
“That’s the big issue,” I mumbled.
“What?”
“He’s a hunk, but he’s not someone I can be with … long term.”
She put a hand on her hip. “I thought you just wanted to get laid. Why are you overthinking this?”
“That’s what I can’t figure out. If I’m so sold to there being anything deeper between us, then why am I on cloud nine about seeing him again?”
“Because you like him,” she said and went to lay the mid-thigh dress across the bed. “And that’s okay. You’re not a robot. You have feelings. I mean, I started to love him after what he did last night. Just take this for what it will be, and when it’s time to part ways, then do that and be grateful that you were lucky enough to have someone that hot even temporarily. Have fun, be safe, and have a great story to tell your grandchildren.”
“Well, how come you don’t follow your own advice? I don’t see you having fun with random guys.”
She looked me in the eye. “I haven’t found that special man … yet. But trust me when I do, you will see me out there having the time of my life.”
“But what about marriage before sex?”
She waved her hand and winked at me. “I changed my mind last night. If I had a guy like Bone …” She let her voice trail away before continuing, “Now go out there and have fun, but don’t do a Monica Lewinski on my dress or you’ll owe me $750.”
I found myself blushing.
“And don’t bring him back to the house,” she continued relentlessly. “Go to a hotel or something and thoroughly let go there. Scream the place down if you have to.”
I couldn’t speak. I just jumped to my feet and threw myself at her. “Thank you, Nichole. Thank you!” I whispered.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. We’ll figure it all out. Step by step. Now get ready and I’ll go see what the little munchkin is up to.”
I got into the Zimmerman and I thought I looked okay in it as I came out of my room with my make-up done and my only good pair of shoes.
Jess had her head bent over her coloring book, her concentration was such I had to call her to her attention. She lifted her head and looked at me. For a second, she simply stared at me without any recognition. Then her eyes widened and she gasped with shock. “Oh, Mommy. You look like my Barbie,” she said.
Now I knew I looked good, but not that good. It was the highest compliment Jess could ever give to anyone.
Nichole shook her head. “Oh, my God. You look better in my dress than I do.”
“No, I don’t,” I said quickly.
“Yes, you do and I’m glad. Go knock his eyes out.”
Della Ray
I got myself out of the house thirty minutes later, and arrived at the fancy downtown restaurant. I was more than fifteen minutes early, but I had deliberately done that so I could have a drink on my own at the bar to settle my nerves. I took a seat, but even before I could place my order, I received a text message from him.
I can’t make it.
I instantly went numb. I reread it again. And again. Just as I rose to my feet to take my leave, another one came in.
I’m sorry.
I slipped the phone into my tiny purse and got in the first taxi I could find. I gave the driver my address and settled into the seat. I knew I had already received the blow, but the pain however, was yet to set in. I was in shock or in such an acute state of disappointment, I stared out of the window and saw nothing. I thought about Nichole and Jess, and the dress I was wearing, the make-up I had put on, the excitement I had felt in my belly all day long.