Big Man

“Because I assumed you were busy being a cool kid,” I point out.

“And I thought you were too important for me. I thought you left me behind, the way you left everyone here behind when you left town.”

I bite my lip. “I never meant to do that to you. I just needed to get out of here. After Dad left, after everything Mama went through… I couldn’t spend my whole life here. I needed to get out. Try something different. See what the rest of the world was like.”

“And what do you think?” He lifts a brow.

I dare a tiny half-smile. “The rest of the world? It’s overrated, if you ask me.”

For a long moment, he keeps chopping veggies. Dumps them into the pot, then slowly sets down the knife and turns to look at me. This time, I can read the pain in his gaze all too well. “I’m not a kid anymore, Sasha. I’m not going to beat around the bush. If you’re just looking for a vacation fling before you head back to the big city and your life there, that’s fine, but you’d best tell me now.” He meets my eye, and I cannot look away. Can’t tear my gaze from his. “What do you want, Sasha?” he asks.

I blink, startled. It’s a question I haven’t been asked in a very long time. It’s a question I haven’t asked myself in even longer. I haven’t dared. Because if I were being honest, I’d admit that I don’t want the life I currently have. Everything I’ve built for myself, my little empire in the city… It’s everything I always dreamed of. Everything I thought I wanted. And it makes me feel nothing except stress. Sadness. Emptiness.

He sighs, deep in the back of his throat, and starts to turn away when the silence stretches on too long. But I grab his arm, pull him back to me, and blurt the only answer that comes to mind. The truth. The one that came into my head the moment he asked the question, even though it seems crazy.

“I want you,” I say.

He steps closer. Looms over me. My head tilts back to keep our eyes locked, and my heart beats in my throat at his nearness, the scent of him, the feel of the heat radiating off his skin. “Are you sure about that?”

“As sure as I’ve ever been of anything,” I whisper, and it’s the truest thing I’ve ever said.

Grant cups my cheek gently. Leans down to kiss me, and this time, when we kiss, it’s different. I sink into him, falling up, as I wrap my arms around his neck to steady myself. It’s a slow, sensual kiss, the kind I could lose myself in for hours. His mouth parts, his tongue traces my lips, slides between them, and I tangle my tongue in his, lose myself in him, his taste, his scent.

We part again, and he hovers inches from my lips, his breath hot across my cheeks. “If you stay with me… If you want a life with me… You know that means living here, don’t you?”

“I do,” I murmur.

His eyes search mine. “Can you really accept that, Sasha?”

I open my mouth, but he stops me with a tilt of his head, a flicker of his brow.

“Don’t answer this lightly,” he admonishes. “I know how eager you were to run last time. How badly the big city tugged at you. You couldn’t wait to put all of us—this whole town and me, in your rearview mirror. Are you sure you could really make a life here? Would you really be happy in this town?”

I lean up to press my lips to his, tentative at first, then deeper, harder. When we pull apart again, I know. I wrap one hand around his neck and tug him down until his forehead rests against mine, our eyes fixed on one another. “I want this, Grant. That life, the big city, all the hustle and bustle, it… I enjoyed it, for a time. But it never felt real. It never felt settled. This, you… This feels more real than any of that ever did.”

“What do you want to do about the farm?” he asks softly.

I bite my lip and shake my head once, hard. “I don’t want to sell it. I can’t imagine it, not after everything we’ve built here, not after fixing it all up like this… Together. We built this place. My family built this place, way back when. I want to keep it.” Then I wince and step back a pace to watch him. “But, I mean… I know I only own half the place now. If you want to sell, I can respect that. I’ll…” I shake my head. “I don’t know. I’ll figure out another place to live…”