I don’t know what it was about today, but suddenly I realize that this is it for me. He is it for me. I want everything with him: a future, house, children. And I want to know if he wants that too. I mean, I know he does, but we’ve never talked about it.
Running into the kitchen, I take the lemon chicken off of the stove, put green beans in a bowl, and arrange a dish heaping with mashed potatoes. Quickly, because Christian should be home any second, I put all the food on the table. I enjoy cooking, and we have an inside joke that I would’ve made a good 50s housewife, so I’ve leaned into that tonight. I’m wearing a vintage style dress and pearls with the high heels.
I know he’ll get a kick out of this dress, and after we eat dinner, I know he’ll get just as much of a kick taking it off me. I can’t say that I’m not looking forward to that part. In fact, if our conversation goes well, we might even be trying to make something more than love.
I hear keys in the lock, and I go and stand near the door so that the first thing Christian sees is me in this outfit. When he comes through the door, he doesn’t look happy. His face is downcast and his posture bent, like he’s exhausted. But he stops when he sees me, and his reaction is exactly what I was hoping for. He freezes, his eyes travel up and down my body before he breaks into a smile.
“What have we here?”
“The 1950s housewife of your dreams.”
His smile slides into the sexy smirk that I love so much. “And what did I do to deserve this?”
“Nothing. You get it for just being you.”
Christian drops his bag on the floor, and reaches out to me, tucking me against his body. “Come here.” He kisses me, hands slowly exploring my body through the dress. “I like this,” he says against my lips.
I laugh softly. “I thought you might say that. But you have to wait until after dinner.”
There’s a sound in his throat that’s almost a whine. “Why?”
“First, I made you dinner and I want you to enjoy it. Second, I want to be able to tell you that I’m wearing something very special under this dress and for you to have to squirm a little bit before you get to it.”
He chuckles against my skin. “You’re an evil woman.”
“I know.”
I grab his hand and pull him into the living room where the table is set, and he whistles. “Damn, Audrey. You weren’t kidding.”
I sit across from him and pass him the first of the dishes, but he doesn’t take it. He looks at the table, and then he looks at me, “What is all this about?”
“I wanted to do something nice for you.”
“I appreciate that,” he says. “But this feels like more than just a nice thing.”
I pause for a second, trying to find the right words. “I was at work today, in the lunchroom. And some of the women there were complaining about their spouses, and all I could think about was how I didn’t have any of their complaints. We don’t have the kind of problems that they have. And I realized… That you’re my one.”
Christian goes still. He’s staring at me and I’m not sure what that look means so I just keep going.
“I’m not saying anything has to happen right now, but I just… Knew. You’re the one I want to be with. And I want to live with you, and have babies with you, and do everything else in the world with you. And after I realized that, I just wanted to do something special. Because I know that we’ve never talked about it, and I wanted to see how you felt.”
I finish my thought, and silence hangs in the air. There’s a piece of chicken on Christian’s fork, and he doesn’t move to eat it. Instead, he just stares at me. He stares at me for such a long time that dread starts to grow in the pit of my stomach. Did I say something wrong?
“Say something, please.”
Christian puts down his fork, and slides his chair back. “I have to go.”
“What?”
He’s already in the foyer picking up his bag, “I have to go.”
“Christian, what’s going on?” But he’s already out the door, the sound of it slamming cutting off my words.
I don’t know what to think right now. But the dread that started to seep in to my stomach is now pouring in full force. Should I not have said anything? Did he want to be the one to bring it up?
Maybe he just needed some time. Maybe I caught him off guard and it wasn’t what he was expecting me to say. Maybe he just needed to go for a walk to clear his head.