Getting Her Back

I don’t ask this time, I just come. Orgasm tearing through me like a pleasurable hurricane, looking to destroy my body. I let out a low moan, my pussy clenching down on his cock, my body shuddering underneath him. He doesn’t stop, not even for a second, which makes it all so much better. My orgasm rides at the driving force of his thrusts, going on and on, until a second orgasm comes on the heels of the first.

My voice is suddenly free for this one, and I cry out. I haven’t come like this in a long time. I didn’t even think I was capable of doing something like that anymore. Christian’s eyes are closed, and just seconds after my second orgasm he comes, groaning against my skin. He keeps thrusting as he comes, warmth filling up my center.

We’re both still for a moment, breathing heavily. Finally, Christian moves, pulling gently out of me and going to clean himself off. I don’t move, instead I reach for one of the pillows on the bed and scoot it under my hips. They say it’s better to lie on your back for about twenty minutes after sex to ensure the best chances for pregnancy. Whether or not that’s an old wives’ tale, I don’t really care. I’m going to do it anyway.

Christian comes back from the bathroom and heads toward his clothes. “I guess I should’ve asked,” he says. “Are you even ovulating right now?”

“Not today,” I say. “It starts tomorrow or the next day.”

“Then I’ll see you here, same time, day after tomorrow,” he says, buckling his belt.

“You’re leaving now?” I ask.

He nods. “My job is done. You wanted this businesslike, remember?”

“Yeah.”

He gives me a final look before heading out the door. “Please just lock the door behind you.”

A few seconds later I hear the front door shut, and suddenly the space around me seems large and silent. I am very, very alone. But this is what I wanted, isn’t it?

7

In true Audrey fashion, I’m way too eager. On the way home from the apartment, I stopped at a drug store and bought a pregnancy test. It was all I could do not to take the test immediately when I got home. All I managed to do was wait until the morning, and even though it’s incredibly unrealistic for me to think that I’d be pregnant after just twelve hours, I can’t help myself.

And even though I know that the chances are slim to none, the disappointment I feel when the test tells me I’m not pregnant is enough to make me cry. I’m not usually a big crier, and the way too hopeful part of me says that maybe I am pregnant and it’s too early for the test to tell. That the brand-new hormones in my body are what are making me cry. But I know that’s not true. I’ve never been pregnant, but I’ve wanted it for so long, that I feel that I’ll know.

When I meet Ellen for brunch, she rolls her eyes when I say that.

“You know you won’t actually be able to tell when you’re pregnant, right?” She asks.

“It’s not like it’s totally impossible,” I say. “I mean, I know it’s rare but I’ve heard of it happening.”

“Yeah, exactly,” she says through a mouthful of eggs. “It’s rare. You’re only gonna be more disappointed if you think that you’re going to be the exception to the rule.”

“I guess so,” I say, taking a sip of my tea. Then I clear my throat. “I have something to tell you. About the guy.”

Her eyes light up. “Oh, do tell. Was he an absolutely amazing lover? Or have you decided to find somebody else to seed your garden?”

I start laughing. “I’ll tell you about it if you promise never to say ‘seeding your garden’ again.”

“Fair enough,” she says, waving a hand.

“It turns out… I know the guy.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Really? Who?”

I cringe, anticipating a reaction. “It was Christian.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock. “Are you serious?”

“You know that Christian is the last person I would joke about.”

“And you slept with him?”

I hesitate for just a second. “Yeah, I did.”

“I am… Amazed that you didn’t kick him in the balls and walk out of there.”

I take a bite of toast. “Believe me, I thought about it. But he had some good points about why we could make this work, and if it turns out that it’s not working, I can always find someone else.”

Ellen stares at me for a minute, like she’s trying to figure something out. “How was that? I mean, was it weird? After everything that happened, I feel like that would be hard.”

“It wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done, but the chemistry between us has never been the problem.”

“Yeah, it’s just that you’ve always said you thought he was the love of your life. Are you really going to be able to let him get you pregnant and then walk away?”