Crave (The Gibson Boys 3)

“Really?” I grin.

“Seeing you grin like that makes me happy. I get it. Trust me,” he says, a look sweeping across his face that I know means he’s thinking about Kallie. “But just be careful, okay?”

“Be careful? That doesn’t sound good.” My grin falters as I look out the window again. “I know what you mean. Things could flip around in a heartbeat.”

He turns the heater down and the radio off. “That’s true, but let’s focus on the good part of the day. What did the two of you do?”

“He picked me up, took me to Peaches, and we drove around a while. Ended up on Bluebird.”

Cross makes a show of leaning away from me. “What happens on Bluebird stays on Bluebird, and it’s definitely nothing that should be heard by your brother.”

“We just talked.” My emotions level out, and a calmness settles over me. “It was nice. We kind of came to an arrangement or something.”

“I’m afraid to even ask.”

“Then don’t.”

He swishes his head side to side. “Is it sexual in nature?”

I punch his shoulder.

We both laugh as he takes the exit to Linton, and we pass the turnoff to Bluebird. There’s a relief on his face that I know well; it’s one I feel in my bones.

“Whatever deal you struck,” he says, “I hope you can keep it up. I kind of like being able to bring up his name and not have you rant.”

“I kind of like it too.”

He flashes me a knowing smile and takes a right at Goodman’s.

We trudge through town, the roads still wet from the rain. The streetlights come on, and a hazy glow shines over town. It reminds me of fall days after school the year I moved to Illinois from San Diego. I couldn’t get over the way the leaves changed and how quickly the temperature dropped.

It was an eventful fall that year. So much time spent learning how to be a country girl—camping, fishing, and going to football games in the back of trucks. The smell of Carlson’s pumpkin bread and Machlan’s body after a football game trickle through my mind.

I miss those things. All of them. Not necessarily in that order.

“You still planning on going back to Vigo?” Cross asks, bringing me out of my reverie.

“Of course.” I look at him over my shoulder. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I just thought maybe if you and Machlan could make peace, you’d come home.” He takes his eyes off the road and winces. “Does that make you feel bad for leaving? Because if it does, I’m not sorry.”

Giving him a sad smile, I sigh. “It does make me feel bad. Thanks.”

“I worry about you, Had.”

“I’m fine,” I say. “Really.”

I jabber on a host of run-on sentences that are clearly more for my own edification than to convince him of anything. The whole time I’m telling him how excited I am to get to work at the new office, to hang out with Emily more now that Samuel is out of the picture, and how I can come back to visit whenever, I fight the rumble in my belly that reminds me how much I wish I felt the enthusiasm I’m trying to extend to Cross.

Being in Linton is comfortable. It’s like walking in a warm house on a cold day and taking off your boots and getting handed a cup of hot chocolate. It’s having people wave as you go down the road and seeing familiar faces in the gas station who ask how you’re doing and really mean it. It’s being with Cross, the only family I have, and it’s being with my friends. And it’s being with Machlan.

I gulp. “I’ll be fine,” I say again. “Besides, when you and Kallie have babies, I’m sure I’ll reconsider. Get to work on that.” I make a face. “Who am I kidding? I heard you. You’re totally working on that.”

Cross chuckles, shaking his head as he pulls next to my car behind Crave.

Cars and trucks are parked everywhere, and people loiter on the sidewalks. Every time the back door opens and people come out to smoke, music from the inside filters out.

I wonder if Machlan is in there, and if he is, what he’s doing. I wonder if he’s thought of me since this afternoon and how he thinks of me, if he has.

Biting my lip, I gaze at the back door, but I’m interrupted as Cross bumps my shoulder.

“Huh?” I ask, tearing my gaze to my brother.

“You want to go in? Kallie is at her mom’s for a while tonight, so I have some time to kill.”

I shouldn’t. I should leave well enough alone and just go to the apartment and read like I had planned. But the longer I don’t answer and the wider Cross’s smile gets and the more times the back door opens, the bigger the little bubble of excitement in my stomach grows.