Crave (The Gibson Boys 3)

“Will you stop it?” Peck sighs. “You’re in the hospital, and you’re worrying if we’ve eaten.”

“That’s my job,” she says. “You’re getting a little thin.”

“Better get out of here and make me a cheeseball then,” he jokes. “How do you feel? Honestly?”

She considers this. “Like I had a heart attack, I reckon.” She turns to look at me. “Want to explain why you look like you’ve been in a fight?”

I hang my head. “Can we do this later?”

Thankfully, the nurse pokes her head around the curtain. “We doing okay in here?”

I nod. I try to smile but can’t. I can’t find the fucks to pretend everything is fine. It’s not.

I want to scream we almost lost our nana. That the fact we’re even here means we aren’t okay.

“Good,” she says. “Can I get one of you to come here for a minute? I need a signature on a couple of forms.”

“My sister is the power-of-attorney,” I volunteer. “She’ll be here in the morning.”

“That’s fine. If I can get someone to just sign that I gave you these forms, that’s all I need tonight.”

Peck looks at me. “I’ll go.” He brings Nana’s hand to his lips and presses a kiss on her knuckles. “I love you.”

“And I love you, baby. See you in the morning, all right?”

Peck nods. With a look my way, he disappears into the hallway.

“So …” I blow out a breath. “I’m trying to decide if you’re moving in with me or if I’m moving in with you.”

She smacks my hand, but it lacks the gusto of her usual admonishments. “You stop that.”

“Me stop? You sat in a chair and had a heart attack. You’re lucky Sienna stopped by.”

She looks at me. “She did? I don’t remember that.”

“That’s what I heard. Peck came and got me.” I grab a chair beside her IV pole and pull it to the side of her bed. “Do you remember anything?”

“No. The last thing I remember was watching my soap operas. Skylar just found out Octavia had his babies and fled the country.”

“Who’s Skylar?”

“On my show,” she says. “It’s a good one.”

“I bet,” I say, making a face.

She swats me again. This time, she grabs my hand again and holds it in hers. “I want to talk to you.”

The way she says that has my stomach turning inside out. I run my free hand down my pants. “About what?”

“First, we will talk about that black eye.” She winces. “You haven’t looked like this in a long time.”

“Please. Let’s not. Another day, we can talk about it, but I can’t today.”

She looks at me carefully, then nods. “I had a dream the other night,” she says. “I was at a wedding. It was beautiful. Pink flowers and green grass—I think it was outside.”

“Lance?”

“No. You.”

My heart sinks. It’s salt in a wound, an ass fucking with no lube. It hurts, and it’s raw, and if I wasn’t in a hospital, I might yelp from the pain of it all.

“Sorry,” I say. “Not happening for me anytime soon.”

“And why is that?”

I shrug, looking at the window blinds.

“I’m going to tell you something that might make you mad. Or it might upset you, and if it does, I’m sorry, sweet boy. But if I die tonight—”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’ll die at some point, Machlan.”

I look at her. “Can you get on with it and leave out the dying shit.”

She sighs. “I’ve let this go as long as I can. And if I don’t say something, and God forbid, something happens to me, I’ll roll in my grave over and over.”

The beeping of the machines pierces the air, suddenly louder than they were before. I watch Nana fight to find the words.

“We can talk about this later,” I offer, shifting in my seat.

“No, we can’t.” She takes a deep breath. “I know you had a baby with Hadley.”

My blood runs cold. I try to slip my hand out of hers, but she hangs on for all she’s worth.

I shiver, the words resting heavily on my already battered heart. I can’t look at her and see the disappointment I know will be there. I can’t do it. Not tonight.

“Nana …”

“Something came in the mail while you were in Ohio. It was during that one month out of your whole life when I couldn’t get a hold of you.”

I nod, remembering that month specifically. I couldn’t call her back. I didn’t want to lie to her, and I didn’t want her to hear the stress in my voice because she’d know something was wrong.

“Your mail was forwarded to me, and I opened it by accident,” she says softly. “I’m sorry, Machlan.”

I can’t do this. Not today. Not after everything else.

“Nana, I love you, but I can’t.” My voice is as raw as my insides.

She winces as she moves until she’s comfortable. “I can’t imagine how hard that was for you.”