Maggie nodded. “I’ve been in Nashville for the past five years. Finished up my college degree there.”
I’d never known why she’d switched colleges, but it wasn’t my business—even though I suddenly wanted it to be. I could feel the tension between us and I felt like the worst kind of asshole. I had made this happen. I had ruined the friendship between us, the comfort and the camaraderie—and our chances at their being something more. It felt like you could cut the air between us with a knife, and I was opening my mouth to apologize—
“What are you doing here?” Maggie asked, cutting me off before I could even start talking. Her voice was… not rude, no, but it wasn’t kind, either. “I thought you suggested that we avoid each other.” It sounded like she was straining to keep herself sounding neutral.
I nodded. “I… I did. But it’s been five years.” I shrugged. “Maybe that means it’s safe to see each other again. Quite a long time, five years, wouldn’t you say?”
Even as I said this, watching her, staring at her—drinking her in like some kind of addict—I knew that it wasn’t safe at all.
4
Maggie
To say that I was freaking out would be an understatement. Cal was here! He was right here, in my house, and Fern—our daughter—was napping upstairs!
Fern was bound to wake up any minute and the moment she did, I couldn’t hide her anymore. What was I supposed to do, keep her in her room until Cal left? Bring her meal up to her like she was a princess in a tower? My parents would never stand for it and it wouldn’t be fair to Fern. But I couldn’t let Cal see her. The moment that he saw her he would know, he’d have to know. She looked too much like him and Cal was too smart for him not to put the pieces together, and everything I had built could crumble like a house of cards in the face of a stiff breeze.
Shit.
I hoped that Cal didn’t realize how nervous I was. I felt like I was going a pretty good job of hiding it, but I could never be sure of myself around Cal. Even five years later he still made my heart race. God, he was as handsome now as he had been when I had given myself to him, when I’d finally admitted my desire for him. If only that had gone the way that I’d envisioned. Things could’ve been so very different now.
“I tried to turn Mark down,” Cal went on, “but he wasn’t having it.”
“That’s my dad for you,” I said. You know, my dad. Your best friend. One of the reasons you said we shouldn’t be together.
Cal gave an awkward chuckle. “I’ll try and keep things painless between us.”
Once, we had joked back and forth like it was nothing. He had made me laugh like nobody else. Now… now it was like our relationship was a shell of itself.
I had no idea how to fix it, or even if I should. After all, it wasn’t my fault that this had happened. I had wanted to be with him five years ago. He was the one who had shut that idea down.
Instead of actually saying any of this and sparking an argument that I wasn’t even sure was worth having, I nodded. There had to be some way I could get him to leave. I couldn’t keep Fern up in her room but I could get Cal out of the house. Was there an errand I could send him on? Or some emergency that I could fake? Or…
“Mama?”
Too late. Shit was about to hit the fan.
Fern was coming down the stairs, a little wobbly from sleep, rubbing at her eyes. She always insisted she was too old and didn’t need a nap anymore, and then she’d plop into deadweight after ten minutes. I knew that it wouldn’t be long until she really was too old for naps, but I was trying not to think about that. She was getting old so fast, growing up in the blink of an eye.
“Yes, baby?” I asked. Beside me, Cal was completely stiff. I couldn’t look at his face, instead focusing on Fern.
“I’m thirsty.”
“Grandma’s in the kitchen, if you go ask nicely and say please she’ll give you a cup of water.”
Fern yawned, then stepped past me, completely ignoring the strange man standing next to me. Good. Cal didn’t deserve Fern’s attention.
And yet…
I shut down the yearning in my chest. It was no use hoping for things that I couldn’t have.
Cal made a strangled noise as Fern disappeared into the kitchen, and I looked up to see him gaping at me, his eyes wide. His face was basically a giant question mark and I raised an eyebrow, challenging him. Go on, I thought. Ask me. Go ahead. I dare you.