My voice rose in pitch as I spoke and I had to force myself to take a deep breath and calm down. I knew that I could be intimidating when I got going. I was a tall man, and a strong one, usually the biggest guy in the room. I didn’t want her to be scared of me.
But Maggie didn’t budge an inch. She just glared right back up at me, standing her ground. “You didn’t want a relationship with me, Cal. What was I supposed to think? How was I supposed to think? You’re a famous artist. Did you really think that I wanted your name and mine splashed all over the news in the art world? Middle aged artist has affair with the daughter of his best friend, love child is born, do you know how that sounds? It would have ruined both of us, made both of us laughingstocks. Made you sound like a predator and made me look like the biggest idiot—as if I didn’t feel like the biggest idiot already, sleeping with you.”
“You didn’t ask for a child. You didn’t ask for any of this. What else was I supposed to do? I took the option that would mean the fewest people got hurt. Fern has no idea her father thinks our night together was a mistake. My parents have no idea that I slept with their best friend, or that their best friend slept with their daughter. You didn’t have to bear an emotional and financial burden that you never asked for. Everybody wins.”
“You don’t win,” I pointed out. “You’ve had to raise this girl all on your own. I know—well, I don’t know, but I’ve seen and heard what it’s like for single mothers. You should have been spending the last five years being young! Figuring out your life! Not burdened…”
“My daughter is not a burden!” Maggie hissed, tears springing into her eyes.
She was so very protective of Fern. It warmed my heart against my will. I should have known that when it came to being a mother, Maggie was nothing short of a grizzly bear, tearing to shreds anything that might hurt her daughter.
“No,” I said, gentling my voice. “No, she’s not. She’s wonderful. You’ve clearly done a great job with her.”
Maggie rolled her eyes, but they were still wet. “You haven’t seen enough of us to know if I’m good or not.”
“Maybe not, but I saw enough. And I know you. You were always so capable and mature.” Was it any wonder that I had been knocked for six when she’d shown up at my doorstep, wearing a practically see-through blouse and jeans that looked like they’d been painted on? I should have resisted her, and yet, even now, it was hard to keep myself from reaching out and touching her.
“Stop it.” Maggie finally took a small step back. “You’re not going to—to—charm me or whatever. I’m not changing my mind.”
“And in all this time you never once thought of changing your mind and contacting me, telling me the truth.”
“No.” Maggie raised her chin defiantly. “I haven’t thought about you at all. Just like I’m sure you haven’t thought about me.”
“You’re wrong.” The words were bitten out of me, growled, yanked out of the back of my throat. “I’ve thought about you far too much. I’ve thought about that night like you’re an actual goddamn ghost haunting me.”
Maggie stared at me, her eyes going wide and her face flushing in shock. “You… what?” Then her gaze grew cold and hard again. “Liar.”
“Liar?” Yeah, right, I’d show her… “I’ll show you just how much of a liar I am.”
I grabbed her and hauled her to me, kissing her.
Maggie snarled against my mouth, grabbing onto my shoulders, and for a moment she almost pulled away—but then she hauled me closer to her with a small cry, and I slid my tongue between her parted lips.
Maybe I should have been gentler, gone a bit more slowly, teased her the way that I had that night five years ago. But that night had taken me by surprise. My lust had snuck up on me. Now, I’d had five years to dwell on my desire for Maggie, to dream of her even when I knew that it was wrong, to think of all the things I wanted to do to her.
It was making me nothing less than feral.
The last time we’d done this it had been right on the floor, only ten feet from the front door. I grabbed Maggie with half a mind to take her to the bedroom and do this properly, but my feet stumbled and I only got about halfway there before I thought, fuck it, and I pressed her against the wall instead. I could remember how well she’d liked that last time.