An Innocent Thanksgiving

Leo closed the door behind him and locked it. My heart jumped up into my throat. What was he doing!? “You sure are dressed up all pretty,” he commented. “Expecting someone in particular?”

“Maybe I was waiting for a pizza to be delivered,” I shot back. I didn’t want Leo to see how scared I was.

Leo just hummed, his gaze raking over me. I wanted to grab something to cover myself. What had felt sexy and alluring when I’d been thinking about Cal now made me feel exposed and horribly vulnerable. Objectified. “I thought you said you didn’t have time to date right now? That’s what you told me when you turned me down.”

Anger and fear warred in me, in my throat, nearly strangling me. I took a few deep breaths, trying to stay calm. “It should have been enough that I said I wasn’t interested,” I told him. “It doesn’t matter why. It’s a no, and you should’ve taken it as a no.”

“I don’t appreciate you lying to me, Maggie,” Leo said. His voice turned into a croon. “After all we’ve been through?”

I shuddered. Leo had been a bit too much at times. Always there every single time I turned around. But I had never thought… it was like I was staring at an entirely different person. A person who was unhinged, or at least a few corndogs short of a picnic.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” I told him, scrambling to think of a way to keep him talking until I could get help, “but I’ve started seeing my daughter’s father again.”

I wasn’t sure if mentioning Fern, even tangentially, was a good idea. Maybe she would serve to remind Leo to behave, and to back off. She was just a child, after all, and she might wake up and hear something, see something. Oh, God, the idea of her seeing—having to witness—no, I wouldn’t even think about it. I wouldn’t let that happen. Not to my baby girl.

And then there was the other side of it. The idea that remembering Fern would make Leo go after her and use her against me, threaten to hurt her. I couldn’t let him scare her, no matter how it happened.

Leo, however, didn’t even seem to think about Fern. “Is he that old guy that’s been nosing around?” he demanded.

I bristled in defense of Cal. There might be a good age difference between us, yes, but he was far from old. He was middle aged and still in the prime of his life (something I could attest to on several levels). The way Leo was talking about him, like he was seventy or something, made me unexpectedly furious.

This wasn’t the time for an argument about semantics, I reminded myself. I had to get Leo out of my house and away from myself and my child.

“You need to leave,” I told him. “You need to get out of my home.”

Leo shook his head, as if I was a disobedient employee or child as opposed to an equal. He walked towards me, crowding me, and my heart was pounding in my throat so loudly it felt like it was going to burst out of me. I stumbled back. “I’ve been trying to get you to notice me for two years, Maggie. Two years!” His voice was resentful, sharp, pointed. It felt like it was a weapon he was using against me.

“You’ve been ignoring me this entire time. I’ve been nothing but kind to you. I’ve been nothing but nice. I’ve supported you when you had no one.”

“That’s not true. I had Jenn, I’ve had my parents, I’m not alone, you’re not my—my savior or my white knight and I never asked you to be!” I realized I was yelling, raising my voice, and I struggled to lower it again. “You’re delusional. I didn’t ask for your support or your help. You volunteered it. And being a—a decent human being doesn’t mean that I—doesn’t mean that anyone, that the universe, owes you anything! That’s just being a decent person. Because it’s the right thing to do and it makes everyone’s lives better. Not because you think you’re going to get something in return. I’m not a—this isn’t a—life isn’t a vending machine, you can’t stick good deeds in until you get sex or a date from me!”

“And you would prefer some deadbeat dad who hasn’t seen his daughter in years to a nice dependable guy like me?” Leo reached out to touch me, his fingers aiming, I think, to brush against my cheek, but I stepped away and slapped his arm so that it fell to the side.

“He didn’t know that Fern even existed,” I snapped, my throat tight and my eyes hot and itchy. Damn it, I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t want him to see me like this. I didn’t want him to know that I was scared. “He’s not a deadbeat. It was my choice not to tell him and he just found out. Which you would probably know if you were actually a genuinely nice person who wanted to know what was going on in my life instead of—instead of just doing nice things and hoping I’ll fuck you in return. That’s not nice, Leo, that’s manipulative! It’s objectifying!”