Within a week, I was sneaking out at night and meeting him on the beach, where we walked and talked about nothing and everything. Despite my animosity towards him now, I couldn’t help but think of those times as anything but magic. It was the stuff of teenage romance movies. My mother said that it was a sure sign that we wouldn’t last. To her, I had a crush on Ash We had a summer fling, but that was all it was. She’d insisted that over time I’d meet a man that would show me what lasting love was really about.
So far, I hadn’t met that man. Instead, when I thought about romance, my mind always went to Ash, even though my goal was to forget him. To this day, I could still remember the taste of him when he kissed me. He wasn’t the first boy I’d ever kissed, but up until him, I hadn’t understood what a kiss could be. Or what it could do to the libido. After that first kiss, I knew I wanted him to be the one to take my V-card.
The only problem for us was that no one knew about us. Initially, we’d just been friends, but when it was clear something more was going on, we agreed to keep our blossoming romance on the down-low. For one, who knew what would happen once the summer was over? Second, neither of us was sure how Ben would take it and since Ash was getting ready to start a business with him, we didn’t want to mess that up.
I was okay with keeping us a secret because it added to the romance of it all. Each night, we’d meet in secret on the beach, walk and talk, kiss and feel each other up, and then walk and talk some more. As the summer progressed, he’d use his fingers on me, giving me glorious orgasms. He taught me how to jack him off with my hand. I loved how powerful it made me feel to give him pleasure.
But I wanted more. As the summer drew to a close, I didn’t want to leave without giving all of myself to him. I knew I loved him and that I didn’t want us to end. So as we lay on the beach, his hands touching me and making my body hum with need, I offered myself to him.
I’ve never forgotten the look in his eyes at that moment. There was excitement, but I swore I also saw love there.
He pushed my hair behind my ear as the wind gently blew it. “I don’t want this to end.”
My heart expanded in my chest to hear those words. “Me neither.”
And then he kissed me, and I could feel the difference between all the lovely kisses we had before, and the passion that he was letting loose in that one. On the beach, under a beautiful August moon, he filled my body with his. The initial pain at his intrusion was dulled by my love for him and what we were doing, and eventually, it was replaced with pleasure as he made me come, followed by his own release.
Afterward, I lay in his arms, feeling like my life was perfect, except for the fact that the summer was ending and we were still a secret.
“We’ll figure something out, Beth,” he said when I shared my feelings.
I nodded, trusting that he’d find a way for us to be together. As it turned out, that trust was misguided. The next day he was gone. No explanation. No goodbye. Just gone.
Tonight, as he danced, his head tilted to the side, as if he knew I wasn’t fully there. His hand settled on my waist and pulled me closer.
He leaned in toward me and said over the music, “Are you okay?”
The scent of him enveloped me and I felt more intoxicated by him than the drinks. “Yes.”
I looked up into his perfectly handsome face, his kind hazel eyes, and wondered what happened to us. My gaze drifted down to his lips, remembering their taste and softness.
“If you keep looking at me like that, there’s no telling what will happen,” he said as he pulled me closer until I could feel the hard length of him through his pants. He held me there, moving with the music and bringing me back to that one perfect night on the beach. I thought I was over him. I thought I’d grieved the dream of us. But being so close to him made my senses go haywire with need. My heart longed for what we’d lost, even though my head knew it could never happen. It would be too risky to allow it.
Finally, the song ended, and I pulled away. “I need some water.”
With his hand on my lower back, he guided me back to the VIP section of the club, telling a passing water to bring us some water.