Then again, I was under the same pressure Ben was, plus I had to raise a child and manage an alcoholic brother. Having grown up wealthy, it had been a change to learn to live on a budget. To be honest, while I didn’t want to be poor, I didn’t mind living on less. Managing a big house and staff wasn’t how I wanted to spend my time, although I did miss spending more time with Morgan, who worked for us until we were too broke to afford her. I was glad we were able to maintain our friendship.
Ben, Hannah, and I now lived modestly in the townhome my father had bought probably for one of his mistresses, doing our own grocery shopping, making our own meals, cleaning our own toilets… it wasn’t bad.
I left him to sleep on the couch and went back to Hannah, guilt rising that she was witness to all this.
“Is Uncle Ben sick again?” she asked as I sat with her at the table.
“Yes.” I was so angry and frustrated I could cry.
“He should go to a doctor.” Hannah put another bit of pancake in her mouth.
“Yes, he should.” I was beginning to think that my trying to help him by taking care of so much was enabling him. When this was done, Hannah and I would be starting our new life, and while it was harsh, if he didn’t get his crap together, I’d have to leave him behind.
“Why doesn’t he?” Hannah asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know baby. Finish your breakfast.”
“I’m done. Can we go to the park today?”
“Yes. Why don’t you go get dressed while I do the dishes and then I’ll take you to park,” I said wiping her face and helping her down from her chair. “I’ll be up to help you in a minute.
“I can do it,” she said running out of the kitchen and heading upstairs. Ben was completely oblivious.
It was nice to be out of the house in the fresh air and able to focus on what was most important; Hannah. I’d been scared to death to have a child at eighteen, but now, five years later, she was my pride and joy. I’d been fortunate to have a family of means that could help me care for her as well as finish my education. Now I was using what I learned to try to salvage our finances. Hannah wouldn’t be surrounded by wealth growing up as I was, but she’d have more experiences with me. More love. She wouldn’t have her father, something which hadn’t bothered me much until lately. My father wasn’t very active in our lives, and when he was, he was dictating it. That was probably why Ben was having so much trouble; my father wasn’t here to tell him what to do. But Ben was smart and he had business sense if he’d get his head out of the bottle.
I shook my head of that thought and pushed Hannah on the swing. Later she played with some other kids while I sat on a bench and watched. I hoped she was happy. Despite the hardships around her, I hoped she felt content.
We arrived home later that afternoon to find Ben at the table going through his phone. “Go get cleaned up and I’ll make you lunch,” I said to Hannah.
“Okay,” she said trotting upstairs.
I entered the kitchen with a judgmental look on my face, but I didn’t care. It was time he pulled it together.
“Sorry,” he murmured, as he sipped coffee.
“No, you’re not,” I quipped. “You’re selfish and weak.”
He closed his eyes, and I worked to not feel guilty at being so harsh.
“I need help, Ben. I’m doing all I can to get us on track, and not only are you drunk or hungover 24/7 but you’re drinking away what money we have.”
He scraped his hands over his face. “I’ll do better. Ash called and left a message about the club.”
My heart stopped in my chest. What else had Ash said? “I’m dealing with that.”
“It’s my club, I should be doing it.”
“We agreed that I would. What did he want?”
“Just to be sure I wanted to sell.”
So Ash didn’t trust me? “What did you tell him?”
“Nothing.” Ben looked at me, his now sober eyes filled with hatred for his former best friend. “I can’t stand what he did.”
“Which is why I’m taking care of it.”
“He shouldn’t have touched you.”
I sighed. “He didn’t take advantage of me, Ben. I was a willing participant. I was just naïve to think it meant something, that’s all. As far as the club, I’ll show him the paperwork that allows me to handle the deal.”
Ever since Ben learned about me and Ash that summer, he’d been livid with Ash, wanting to confront him about Hannah. But by then, I realized that Ash had gone on with his life and made the decision to not tell him. I’d tried to let him know initially, but he’d dismissed my attempt. That told me all I needed to know about him.