Now there was something more drawing us together, but I still felt outside of it. Chase had Sara who was very pregnant. Shortly, we’d all be heading up to Niagara Falls to see Hunter and Grace get married. Watching Chase and Hunter, I could see contentment in them that I envied. They also had a closeness to each other that I hadn’t seen before the women came into their lives.
And that made me angry. I had that once. I could have it now, except Beth was hell-bent on keeping me at a distance. Now that I’d seen Ben, I could see she had more on her plate than just impending financial ruin. But goddammit, I could help.
I blew out a breath as I watched a very pregnant Sara pat Chase on the shoulder and point toward the table. He kissed her hand and nodded, then went into the kitchen, presumably to get items to set the table. Chase had a household staff to help, but on Sundays, it was family dinner time. Everyone pitched in to bring something or help prepare for dinner. My contribution this week was wine, as it was most weeks. I included some nice sparkling cider for Sara.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
I looked up to find Grace beside me.
“You’ve been distracted all afternoon. Are you okay?”
“I am distracted. Just trying to figure out how to help a friend.” I couldn’t rely on Kade and my brothers to see the value of the McAdams company as an investment, so I needed to come up with an alternative if they said no. Buying Ben’s half of the club, and making arrangements to buy Beth’s townhouse was going to leave me cash poor. I wouldn’t be able to do much in buying out their business after that.
“Would you like to talk? Sometimes speaking your problems out loud to a neutral third party helps.”
From across the room, I could see Hunter watching her. He gave me a nod, I suppose was meant to encourage me to talk to her. I remembered him telling me that talking can help. I wasn’t sure how. But what did I have to lose? I’d already told Hunter about it, so it wasn’t some big secret.
“I made a mistake when I was younger that has driven a wedge between my best friend and me. Now that he’s having trouble, he won’t let me help him. On top of that, it appears he has a drinking problem.”
Grace moved a chair over to sit in front of me. “Substance abuse makes everything more difficult, including relationships. This mistake you made; do you blame yourself for what’s happening to him?”
I shook my head. “His financial troubles and drinking aren’t on me. Just his anger at feeling betrayed.”
“Betrayed? So, he doesn’t trust you to help him now since you betrayed that trust before?”
I blew out a breath. “I think he’s just pissed.”
“Does he have a right to be?” Her questions made me think that Hunter hadn’t told her the situation. It was good to know I could trust him with my secrets.
“Yes, and no.” I took a large gulp of my drink. “I’m in love with his sister. I have been for six years.”
“Ah.” She said as if all the pieces were falling together. “Some brothers are very protective of their sisters.”
I nodded. “Yes. I knew it was wrong, and I did it anyway.”
“Wrong?” She cocked her head. “But you said you love her.”
“Friends don’t mess with their friends’ sisters.” It was one of the top rules of the bro code. That and you didn’t date your friends’ exes.
“But you love her. Does she love you too?” Grace asked.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “She did. I think. Our fathers got in the away and I left her. Now we’ve some lovely moments, but then it’s like she remembers I’d left and that makes her push me away again.”
“You told her what happened? How you feel?”
I nodded.
“So, it’s not just this friendship you’re trying to repair but the relationship with this woman.”
“Yes.”
“But I imagine the brother isn’t supportive of that,” she said.
I laughed. “He tried to kick my ass.” I shook my head as the images flooded back. It was all so fucking sad.
“So, you’re working on fixing two opposing relationships, one with a person that has a substance abuse problem.”
I narrowed my eyes as I tried to get a fix on what she was saying.
She put her hand on my knee. “I’m not going to tell you that you can’t fix both, but you need to consider that maybe you can’t have both.”
I swallowed, not liking that.
“If you want a relationship with the sister, your friend may never come around to accept that, especially if he’s drinking. It’s very difficult to grow and evolve when substance abuse is involved.”