“Take him in your hand and guide him into you,” Chase said, resting his hands on my thighs. I appreciated that he was letting me take the lead, but I was feeling completely inept.
I took him in hand and rose up on my knees, adjusting until his tip was at my entrance.
“Now at your own pace, slide down my cock.”
I lowered over him, feeling his dick as I took him inside. It was different like this, just as it had been when he had me from behind. I felt more in control, and able to take him deeper. Finally, he was all the way in.
“You okay?” His voice was hoarse and his fingers were gripping my thighs a little tighter.
“Yes. What do I do?”
“What do you feel like doing? Your body knows, Sara. Just surrender to it.”
I rocked my hips, and again pleasure radiated through me. I did it again and again, and finally my body rose and sank over him. He was right. I let instinct take over and my body did the work on its own. I rode him, each time the pressure built, and soon I needed to go faster, harder.
“Fuck, that’s good Sara.” His hands moved to my hips, and guided me. He bucked up, his hips meeting mine.
My breasts bounced wildly, my hair swayed back and forth as I rode harder and faster, chasing my release.
“Oh God… I’m going to come…” I teetered on the edge, not ready for it to end, and yet desperate for release.
“Come on my cock,” Chase growled.
And then I was there. Pleasure speared me sharp and deep. My head dropped back and my body went tight.
“Ah fuck yah.” Chase’s hips thrust up, and I felt his hot liquid fill me.
After the first pop, my body continued to ride him, drawing out the pleasure until finally I collapsed on him. His heart thundered in his chest where I’d laid my head.
“You’re a fast learner,” he said breathlessly.
“You’re a good teacher.”
I waited for him to kick me out, but instead we lay with me sprawled on top of him. When I finally decided I should move, I looked down, and he was fast asleep.
I knew he’d want me to go to my own room, but I didn’t get where I was by always doing what people wanted or expected of me. So instead, I moved off of him, settling myself in the bed next to him. I could simply tell him I fell asleep too if he wondered why I was there in the morning.
Feeling more content that I had in a long time, I shut my eyes and let sleep come.
I woke to the early dawn sun creeping into the room but Chase was gone. I sat up and saw my robe at the end of the bed. I put it on and made my way out to the living area. Chase was on the couch in a pair of sweats, sleeping.
Disappointment killed the happiness I felt the night before. I nearly went back to his room to be contrary, but ultimately acquiesced and went to mine. I might be poor and needy for affection, but I did have some pride. I wasn’t going to beg for his attention.
The next morning, I joined him for breakfast. His sharp gray eyes watched me as I spread butter on the English muffin Mrs. Childs had brought.
“Sara, we need to get a few things straight.”
I raised my hand to stop him. “I know. Stay in my own room.”
He rested his forearms on the table. “I’m happy to give you as many sex lessons as my dick can give, but it’s just a side perk of our arrangement. This isn’t a marriage in the traditional sense.”
“I get it,” I snapped. It was bad enough to feel embarrassed and rejected, he didn’t need to rub it in.
“I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t give you all that love ever after bullshit, Sara.”
“If you don’t want to hurt me, then stop telling me that I’m not good wife material.”
“Fuck.” He looked away for a moment. “It’s not you.”
I bit into my muffin, looking out over the view.
“Look at me, Sara.”
Reluctantly, I turned my head to him.
“I’m not husband material. It’s not in me to love and honor forever. You’re a kind, sweet, smart woman. That’s why you should consider moving on once this deal is done. You deserve to have someone who can love you like you want.”
“I’m not leaving my baby.”
He blew out a breath. “Then you’re going to have to accept the situation here.”
“I get it, Chase. Can we talk about something else now?”
He lifted his hands in surrender. “Whatever you want.”
What I wanted was exactly what he said; someone who could love me. As difficult and as hard as Chase could be, I wished it was him.