I’d rather be Doralee the waitress, working in some diner in Nowhere, Ohio who pays her rent on time, takes the bus and spends her weekends at the dog park and the library, than the Doralee that lives on Park Avenue letting everyone else tell her what’s best for her.
That Doralee has sailed, but I know deep down, I still want Damon. I need him. I’ve never felt anything like I have in the last week since he followed me into that ballroom, but I can’t be the same girl he met there.
I have to be me. I have to figure out who that is, and I need someone who wants to be on that journey with me.
I pray he is that someone. I pray I can forgive him. That he wants my forgiveness. That somehow, everything that’s happened has a purpose. That even through the heartbreak, we can find our way.
Pulling the blanket up and over my head, I take a seat on the floor of the deck, my back braced against the wall as I put my head to my knees and let the tears come. This time they are quiet, there is no more energy for my body to clench and seize. I think of my babies, I think of my mother, I think of my father. The way he used to be, before my mom died and Melany came into our lives.
The memories take me as the sound of the wind and the waves fills my ears.
I look down at the deck when I swear, I see a flicker of light from under the blanket. I pick my head up and there it is again. Light, coming over the edge of the boat as it bobs up and down in the waves.
I throw the blanket off, pushing up onto my feet, and yes.
It’s a spotlight.
“I’m here!” I scream, waving my arms wildly. “I’m here! Help!”
The beam of light stops solidly on me, blinding me, but warm relief cascades through me.
They’ve seen me.
It’s a huge boat, there are thousands of lights strung everywhere. It’s New Year’s Eve, so it’s probably a party charter or something, but I don’t care, I just thank God they did.
I keep waving my arms until the horn on the boat sounds and my hands fly to cover my ears.
A minute later it’s fully in view, and I can’t believe just how big it is. An enormous yacht, turning in a wide circle and slowing before they lower a smaller boat from the side, down into the water. A moment later, its lights come on and it heads in my direction.
As it comes up on the side of the boat, tears start again, only this time it’s gratitude.
“Thank you!” I scream, the lights shining right at me, allowing me to only see the shadows of two figures.
Hands reach out and grab the side of my boat, one lashing a line to a cleat and tying us together as the engine on the rescue boat idles.
“Thank God—” I start as one figure springs up and forward, landing on the deck in front of me, and my heart is in my throat. “Damon?” I say, more to myself than him. “How…” I look at the massive yacht, then into his eyes, filled with tears of their own.
“I’m not losing you, Doralee. I’m not letting you go. I fucked up. I’ll pay for that for the rest of our lives if you’ll let me, but you need to know. It will be the rest of our lives. Together. I can’t live without you.”
His hands draw me into the warmth of his body, and as much as I want to pound on his chest and try to right the wrongs that have already happened, instead I slip my hands around his waist and cling to him like the rock I know he will be.
ONCE WE’RE BACK ONBOARD The Doralee, I change out of my wet clothes as we get underway, and then Damon settles me on an upper deck as he heads inside. The wind has calmed, and the waves are only softly lapping at the sides of the enormous yacht, but a small part of me is still panicked from my time adrift.
“Here you go.” Damon re-appears from an inside salon with two long stem champagne glasses filled with bubbling liquid.
He offers me one, but I shake my head. “I’m not much in the mood for celebrating.” I shrug a shoulder to my ear, forcing a strained smile to my quivering lips and thinking of Glubs and Blubs, my eyes immediately overflowing again, and I cover my face with my hands.
“Baby.” I hear Damon set the glasses down and his hands are around me. “Listen, come here, look at me.”
He pulls my hands from my face and I look up through blurred eyes as he moves to hold my cheeks.