Hold On

She rolls Buddha off and he tumbles onto his back like a fat turtle, then she gets up on all fours, putting her chin to the floor, her ass high in the air, and I have to bit the inside of my cheek until I taste blood to keep from blowing my load in my pants.

“He’s a marshmallow.”

Buddha mimics her position, wagging the little stump of a tail just above his ass.

“He’s never done that before.” I shake my head. “I’ve never seen him want to play with anyone before. Even me.”

She turns her head toward me with a smile so bright I feel the warmth of it across the room. “Guess you just don’t have the touch.”

I’m going to show her my touch just as soon as my cockblocking dog gets out of the way.

I settle into a stool at the kitchen island counter and watch them play. Emmy gets up and runs around through the great room and down the hall with Buddha’s fat ass chasing behind and think I’ve never been happier than at this moment.

I’ve met lots of women in my life, but I’ve never had anything close to the feelings Emmy brings out in me. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone. My last date was probably five years ago. I never had the drive to settle down until now, but what I feel for Emmy is a wild combination of primal lust, wicked protectiveness and joy.

Yes, pure joy that makes me feel like my heart has just woken up from a cold slumber.

I thought I was happy before. Making deals, making money, running my company. I was content. I had some friends, went on trips, read biographies on men and women I admire. Mostly corporate CEO’s and the like. Life was good.

Or so I thought.

Now I realize if I didn’t have Emmy, I would be miserable. None of what I had before would fulfill me. I’d be an empty man.

I need her to love me. Want me. Need me.

This craving for her is eating me alive, but I know better than to rush her. I want to jump on her like a predator, wondering what she would do if I grabbed her by the hair, bent her over the countertop, ripped her clothes off and drove into her with a roar.

I don’t even recognize the primal man she has awakened in me, but somehow, I’ve finally found my true self. I finally realize the man I was meant to be; now I just need her to come along for the rest of the ride.

For the rest of our life.

“Phew.” She comes in the kitchen out of breath, her face flushed, with the lightest sheen of sweat along her hairline.

A few seconds later, Buddha comes panting around the corner and plops down on his belly at her feet, looking up at her with something I understand.

Devotion.

She’s small yet lush at the same time. A woman-child in her own sort of way, and for a split second, I wonder if I’m a depraved heathen for wanting her the way I do.

I shake away the thought, my gut telling me everything I need to know.

“He’s not moved that much in the entire three years since I got him.”

“Why did you get him? I mean, I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just you don’t seem like a dog person. And, well, your life is so busy.”

I laugh. “No, you’re right, I didn’t think I was a dog person either before I got Buddha, but I don’t think I’d know what to do if I was without him now. We’ve grown on each other. I came around this corner. There was a house half boarded up, and as I stopped at the stop sign, Buddha got to his feet, pulled to the end of his chain and stared at me. It wasn’t aggressive, it was pleading, and I guess something inside me just snapped. I could see his ribs and hip bones….” My voice cracks when I think that if I hadn’t come along, what his life could have been.

Emmy tips her head to the side and I swear she’s about to cry. “How could anyone do that?”

“No fucking clue. I couldn’t even drive past and go back later, I had to do something. The neighborhood was shit, where if you slow down, your car will be stripped before you can dial 911, but I didn’t think about that. Something about him staring at me from the front yard littered with beer cans and choked with weeds….” I shake my head blowing out a long breath.

“He was lucky.” She glances at Buddha, who has settled down to watch her with a look of absolute adoration on his face. “I guess you’re not just a hard-ass CEO deal maker like everyone says after all.”