It’s not that I actually enjoy it. I don’t. I’m numb to it. Indifferent.
It’s the way things are, and I guess in a way I just always saw myself carrying on doing it until either I couldn’t any longer, or someone stopped me.
But here’s the thing. I have enough money saved to live more than comfortably for the rest of my life.
I made a deal for this house with a client who was in foreclosure. I paid off what he owed the bank, he signed over the deed to me and got to keep all his bones intact. Win-win. I’m not here that much. I haven’t gotten around to doing anything with it.
But I’m also happy as hell I never finished decorating the place. Because now, I want her touches everywhere. Sure, there was a comfortable living room, the kitchen has a table and chairs, and my bedroom is nice, but the rest of the place is practically empty, and I finally know why it never felt right to finish it.
Even the house was waiting for her. Waiting for our turn to have the life we never allowed ourselves to dream of.
If she wants a different life, so do I. I’m going to give it to her. To us both.
Listening to her talk in the car about her mom. Her life. My heart didn’t just break, it changed.
It was a shriveled, half working organ before. Now, it feels as though I’ve received a transplant. I don’t feel like the same man I was this morning when I got the call from the hospital.
I watch as she walks around the foyer looking up at the three-story ceiling painted like clouds and blue sky. She spins, and the skirt of her dress flows with her movements, making me hard.
Harder, I should say, because my state of near constant erection would probably baffle the medical community.
“And you live here? Alone.”
I chuckle and take her by the hand, leading her down the hall. “Yes, baby. Alone.”
“It’s sort of empty.” She screws up her face, crinkling her nose.
“I know. I guess I was waiting for someone to help me with that.”
Her sweetness is already changing the way the house feels. Thinking about how she grew up, I’m amazed how she’s retained this innocence. There is nothing hard about her.
When I think about that fuck at her apartment, I get red flashes in my vision, and all the rage I felt when I saw him put a hand on her comes flooding back, all the anger at the way he talked to her making me want to snap his fucking neck. If his fingers ever manage to find their way to her again, I’ll break every one.
Slowly. Painfully.
Then I’ll shove them into his eye sockets for looking at her the way he did.
I know that look. He was being an asshole, sure, but in his eyes, I saw the lust. No way is she going back there, not while I’m breathing.
I shake away those negative thoughts. I don’t want any of that between us now because all I can think about is getting her under me. Under my tongue, under my body, under my control.
My cock is pressing upward to my belt buckle, demanding to get at her. But, it’s more.
For the first time in my life, I want my seed inside her. I want to take root and watch her belly swell and know it is our love that is growing inside her. She’s so tiny, and I’m so freakish.
She’s soft and cute and kind. I’m hard and scarred and jaded.
But, it’s like I’m the key and she’s the lock. I’ve been searching for her, and I didn’t even know it. I’ll change my life for her. I’ll make our life for her.
Something new. Something wonderful. It’s our turn to have something we want, and I’m going to make sure it happens.
“Love,” I whisper the word and shock rocks through me.
“What?” Nicci twists her head upward to look at me.
“Nothing.” I stall my steps, and she spins when my hand holds hers back. “No, not nothing.” I stiffen my shoulders back. “This is fast. I get it. I think I’m insane. But you can’t say this isn’t real. You are mine, Precious. And I’m yours. Tell me, the first time you saw me, what did you feel?”
I spin her around and place my hands on the sides of her neck, feeling her pulse race. When I look in her eyes, all I see is her looking up at me when I slide into her for the first time. Calling my name, buried deep in her pussy, filling her with me.
“This is crazy.” She licks her lips and puts her hands on her cheeks. “But I felt like you were the one I’d been waiting for.”
“Yes, baby. I am the one you’ve been waiting for. And I’m going to show you just what that means.”