“I’ve never had a chance to let it matter. So now, maybe we can both have it. Even if it’s just for a while.” She choked on a sob. “Please don’t make me marry a man I don’t want without ever knowing what it’s like to be with one I do want. And before you say anything, it’s you I want. Not just the experience. I could have had both of those men at the casino. A half a dozen others before them if I’d been motivated to pursue them. I didn’t. But you, you’re worth me … putting myself out here like this. I’m risking a lot here. But it’s worth it.”
His fingers curled against her hips as he tightened his hands into fists, still holding her near him. He closed his eyes and looked away, pain, need, etched into every line of his face. “I have done all that I could do to be an honorable man. To honor my wife. To stay true to my vows. And still, even since her death, I have not taken a lover. And you are the last woman that I should want. But God help me I want you.” It was prayer more than it was a curse. As though he was truly appealing for help from a higher power.
He took a sharp breath. “I desire you so much that my body shakes when I think of you. I have denied myself, denied my desires, for so long and you … you make me wish I didn’t care. That I didn’t have to choose between right and want.” He looked up at her, his eyes blazing with heat. “For the first time, I choose want. And I want you, Princess Evangelina Drakos.”
CHAPTER NINE
“BE sure,” he said, watching her eyes, trying to get a read on her thoughts. “Because if this starts …” He wouldn’t be able to stop. Although, admitting that out loud was close to torture.
He prided himself on his control. And his control was iron. He’d proven it on more than one occasion. But he was about to let it go now. To release his hold on it completely. And once he did that, he wasn’t certain how long it would take for him to grasp it again.
He’d spent his life clinging to it. Trying to do the right thing by Marina, to marry her before consummating their relationship. Waiting longer, while he cared for a wife. While he turned down the advances of every woman who gave him a coy look or an overt invitation.
Waiting still because he really hadn’t figured out how to rejoin the world of the living. Not after so many years.
And now, now his limit had been reached. A beast inside him had been unleashed.
It was easy to imagine it was because he had allowed it to be set free. But he knew it was truly because of Eva. Because she appealed to something in him that went beyond simple arousal. She was like him in so many ways, bound by circumstances she couldn’t control.
But she fought against them. She fought with power, with wit. Bravery. She didn’t think twice about challenging him.
About seducing him, even though he was certain she was a virgin.
She had fire in her. And he only had cold stone. Just for a while, for a moment, he wanted to be warm. To be with her.
“I’m sure,” she said. She lowered herself onto his lap and he put his hands on her waist. She dipped her head to kiss him.
“Wait,” he said, his throat tight. She looked shocked, but froze in place. “I just want to look at you for a moment. To know that tonight, you’ll be mine.” He moved his hands through her thick, dark hair, finally able to relish the feel of the silken curls.
Guilt had no place in things tonight. Tomorrow, it would be there. It always was. Guilt was his constant companion, gnawing at him always, the reasons varied, but ever-present.
Not tonight.
Tonight there was only Eva. Only his desire for her. Needs that would finally be met.
Her lip trembled and he leaned forward and kissed her lightly. Eva melted into him, her breasts pressing against his chest, her curves melding to him as she gave herself over to the kiss. And he allowed himself to relish it. Her tongue, smooth and hot, her lips so soft and sweet, perfect.
He was dying to touch her. To explore those soft, feminine curves, so different from his own body. This was what he was made for, a part of himself he had denied for so long. He reached behind her and took the zipper on her dress between his thumb and forefinger, sliding it down slowly, savoring the action. Savoring the experience of undressing a woman who was so alive. So responsive.