Scandals and Secrets

'But I don't want a divorce!' she protested wretchedly.

'Don't be so bloody ridiculous,' he scorned. 'No woman would stay married to a man who did what I did yesterday. I dare say you couldn't wait to tell everyone what a disgusting creature you married.'

Gemma flinched, then decided to lie. 'I've told no one, Nathan,' she said huskily. 'No one.'

His eyes narrowed till they were cold slits of steel. 'Byron doesn't know?'

'No.'

He actually shuddered, his obvious distress and self disgust tearing Gemma's heart out. She rushed forward, dropping to her knees beside his chair, grabbing his free hand.

'Let's forget what happened yesterday, Nathan. You were upset. You didn't know what you were doing. But you do love me. I know you love me. I refuse to let one unfortunate incident spoil what we could still have together. I love you and I don't want any other man but you.'

He was staring at her as though she was mad, his eyes wide with disbelief and yes ... revulsion. He reefed his hand out of hers and pushed her away as he hauled himself to his feet. Lurching across the room, he reached his desk, where he whirled to face her once more.

'What kind of woman are you? How can you dismiss what I did to you so easily? I can't. I can't dismiss it any more that I can dismiss in whose bedroom I found you.'

Gemma groaned and shook her head as she got slowly to her feet. 'You're wrong about that, Nathan. So wrong. And you were wrong to do what you did. But love can forgive, can't it?'

'That depends on what it has to forgive.'

Gemma wasn't sure now if he was referring to her forgiving him, or him forgiving her.

'Please, Nathan, let's just forgive each other everything! We both did things we regret. It was poor judgement for me to go to Damian for help, but it was also poor judgement for you to have so much to do with Lenore. Can't we just learn from our mistakes and go forward? We love each other. With a little more trust I think we can still have a good marriage.'

'Trust ... Now that's a commodity I think will be in short supply between us from now on, my dear. As for our loving each other, you never really loved me. Not your fault, of course. You were very young and I rushed you into marriage before you could differentiate between lust and love. I'm doing you a favor by letting you go.'

'And what if I don't want to be let go?'

He threw her an impatient scowling look. 'Then I'll have to make you go.' Striding behind the desk, he reefed opened a drawer and extracted a large brown envelope. 'Remember this?' he asked, waving it at her. 'You asked me what it was one day and I told you it contained business documents. It doesn't. It's a report from the private detective I hired to find your mother.'

Gemma could feel the blood drain from her face, Luckily she was standing next to a chair. Her fingers felt for the armrest and she leant against it. 'What are you trying to say, Nathan?' she said in a raw whisper.

'I'm saying I lied to you. He found your mother. I made the decision to keep her identity from you.'

'But ... but why, for pity's sake?' she cried, shattered by this news.

He'd known what finding her mother meant to her. How could he have done this? This was far worse than what he did yesterday. Far, far worse!

'What does it matter what my reasons were now? I did it. Here ... ' He tossed the envelope on to the edge of the desk. 'Read it. As fate would have it, I doubt the news will come as big a shock to you as it did to me.'

Gemma stared at the envelope across the room as though it were a deadly snake. Why would the identity of her mother come as a shock? Was she a form of lowlife? A prostitute, perhaps? Her father had always said she was a slut. It was the only explanation for why Nathan would keep this a secret. ..

'Do excuse me,' Nathan tossed off almost indifferently. 'Now that I've settled the matter of our divorce, I'm going to go and clean myself up. I will presume that once you've read that you'll want to be on your way as soon as possible.'

Gemma was left feeling sick and alone with his abrupt departure. Her mind was having difficulty in taking it all in. She'd wanted to find her mother for so long, and her identity was inside that envelope. All she had to do was look.

Approaching the desk with a madly beating heart, she almost dropped the thing when she first went to pick it up. With it clutched in her hands, she made her way round behind the desk where she slumped gratefully into the chair.