If he noticed, he had no reaction. And she was glad. Instead, he thrust deep inside of her, pushing them both higher and higher until she was gasping. Until she was fisting his hair, the sheets, whatever she could get hold of so she didn’t fly off the bed and shatter into a million pieces.
The pain faded quickly, every thrust pushing her closer to the point of release. But it wasn’t an easy push. It wasn’t a gentle journey to the peak. It was fire and thunder—her release almost ripped from her as it hit, suddenly and before she could take a chance to breathe.
She shuddered out her release, clinging to his shoulders, legs wrapped around his calves. She was sure her nails were biting into his skin, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t.
He went still above her, a hoarse sound on his lips as he found his own pleasure. And then he was up, moving away from her and into the bathroom.
She lay there on her back, her dress pulled down over her breasts and up past her hips, trying to catch her breath, hands over her eyes. “Oh, dear Lord, what have I done?”
He came back in, the condom managed, the look on his face grim. “Now, you should have told me that,” he said.
“Told you what?” she asked, sitting up and trying to put her dress in place. Though he didn’t seem concerned with his nudity at all.
“That you were a virgin.”
“Oh. That. Well. I could have told you. It’s just that...”
“Just that what?”
“I didn’t want to. How stupid is that?”
He walked over to the bed and took her left hand in his, holding it up so she was eye level with her engagement ring. “Whoever gave you this? He’s an idiot.”
* * *
Rachel came back to the present, her eyes on the ring, just like they’d been in that moment after her first time with Alex.
They’d been together at least four times in the hours since then. And he’d been telling the truth. He did like foreplay. Not only that, he was good at it. Darn good.
She put the ring back down, a smile curving her lips.
She sat up slowly, the muscles in her body complaining. Alex had given her a little bit more exercise than she was used to. That made her smile widen. Which was stupid, maybe, but she felt...different. Giddy. Alive.
Half in love.
She closed her eyes. No. She didn’t want that. That was such a stupid cliché. She didn’t actually know the man. She’d been naked with him, that was all.
Except it was easy to remember how it was to dance with him. How it felt to hold his hand as she walked barefoot down a city sidewalk. How she’d been different with him. More alive.
Happy.
So maybe it wasn’t so stupid that she felt half in love. It was scary, though. She’d been...not in love, but infatuated with a guy before, with hideous results. But that had been different. It felt like another lifetime. Like it had happened to another girl.
She’d changed over the past eleven years. In ways that were necessary, but in ways that had left her feeling like she was trapped in skin that had become far too small.
And sometime last night, she’d changed again.