Bad Uncle Too

“What’s wrong why are you sick?” Like I don’t know. I had a pretty good idea but waited to see if she did.

“Maybe it was like you said, it was something I ate.” My ass! She gave me one of her innocent little girl looks but I wasn’t buying that shit.

“You ate breakfast hours ago, we haven’t had lunch yet. Try again!” She’s not stupid, but she’s slick. She was up to something.

“Then I don’t know what it could be.” I sighed and looked down at her head, rolling her eyes the way she does when she’s being disrespectful.

She rested there for a half an hour before she was trying to pull away. “You feel better now?”

“Yes, and I’m starving. What are you making me for lunch?” Uh-huh, I’m her damn servant.

“What do you want for lunch?”

“Let’s go to the diner, I have the taste for one of their burgers.”

“No fucking way! I don’t feel like dealing with one of your tantrums.”

“How rude, when have you ever seen me throw a tantrum?” Now she has convenient memory.

“Doesn’t matter, I want a burger from the diner, let’s go.” She flounced her prissy ass out the room and her lapdog followed.

If she doesn’t know that she’s pregnant and she’s already ordering my ass around, I can’t begin to imagine what she’s going to subject me to once she does find out.

“Fine, let me get my damn shoes at least.” I grumbled all the way to the truck, which only made her laugh at me.

“Have you ever seen Grumpy Old Men? You remind me of them. Come to think of it, they liked to fish too like you.” She had jokes.

“Whatever, just remember, you even look at me cross eyed we’re leaving. And if you throw shit at my head I’ll turn you over my knee.”

Now she was the one rolling her eyes and lying out her ass. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Sure you don’t!

I just realized that we’ve hardly argued in the time we’d been cooped up here together. She was actually quite easy to get along with.

She had a sweet disposition and she seemed happy with her own company, same as I. But I wasn’t holding out much hope of that shit lasting past this lunch if one of my ex bedmates happened to be in there. Fucking nut!

“Hey!” I had to stop her from jumping out the damn truck and wondered why she’d choose to do that shit now when she’d never done it before.

I knew her game when I caught the secret smile on her face when I lifted her down and put her on her feet. Oh she knows alright, but what the hell game is she playing?

I held her hand as we entered the diner and accepted the greetings from the others as we walked in. Some of them remembered her from last time and greeted her by name.

No one said anything about our handholding but they sure did a lot of looking. She wasn’t shooting daggers at anyone with her eyes so I figured it was safe to sit and have a civilized meal. Heaven knows how long that shit would last.

“I need a menu.”

“I thought you wanted a burger.”

“I thought so too, but now that we’re here I’m not sure.”

“Don’t start that craving shit already.” I mumbled the words under my breath but nosy still heard me.”

“Did you say something uncle Cade?”

“No, look at your menu and don’t start with me.” She studied the damn menu like she had a test coming up. Every damn word.

“Hi you two, long time no see.” Thank fuck it wasn’t anyone she could scalp but Betty again. This one was all smiles and happiness. “I’ll have the burger and fries, I’ve been craving it all day.”

Son of a…didn’t she just look at the damn menu for half an hour because she said she wanted something else?

“I’ll have the same. Which I would already be eating if we’d ordered two hours ago instead of sitting here so this one could memorize the damn menu.”

“Cade what the hell crawled up your ass and died? Time of the month huh.”

‘Betty you’re meaner than a rattlesnake. Tell them not to burn it this time or I’ll come back there and cook the shit myself.”

“Pleasant isn’t he? So, how’re you liking our little town Sydney?”

“I love it here. So peaceful, quiet. I like it. I can hear myself think here. Not like back home where it’s so crowded.”

“Ahh country girl at heart huh.” I took a sip of water and sat back for gossip hour. I guess my growling guts could wait until these two were done gabbing.

“I guess you can say that. Plus it seems like a great place to raise kids.” I spat the damn water across the table.