“I will.” He wrapped his arms around Jiya, only breaking the hug when both of their cell phones started to buzz nonstop, probably people wondering why they weren’t at work. Watching him go was almost impossible, working that night was worse. Later, she slept with her head perched on folded arms on the window sill. She jerked awake when Andrew’s bedroom light came on, powerful relief making her eyes sting with tears. They looked at each other for long moments through the window until he nodded and mouthed the words I love you, pressing his hand to the glass. She mouthed the words back—and they both went to bed, turning their lights off as the sun kissed the horizon.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Andrew swore he held his breath from the moment he left Jiya yesterday until she walked in the door for breakfast. She wore her work clothes this time and carried her usual tote bag full of ingredients. His usual move was to take the bag and start dividing spices and taking out cutlery for breakfast. Her cup of coffee sat on the counter beside his elbow and he should have been handing it to her. All he could do was stare, though.
Jiya did the same after she closed the door, her teeth snagging on her lower lip, her head ducking as if a little shy. How she could be anything but bold around Andrew knowing what she knew about his tastes was a mystery, but her demeanor was a B12 shot to his libido—as if it needed any encouragement.
He roused himself and handed Jiya her coffee, taking her tote bag and setting it on the counter. Their staring match continued and his cock plumped in his sweatpants. It had taken all his willpower not to climb through her window last night, even just to hold her. Absorb her. Smell her neck. Anything.
This time around, the pickup and drop off hadn’t led to Andrew getting stiches on his face, which was preferable to a hospital trip, but nothing about the situation was ideal. Especially Marcus riding shotgun like the bodyguard from hell.
Last time he went to Jersey to do Handler’s dirty work, he’d been desolate. Devastated over Jiya’s engagement. He’d been laser focused on doing the job, protecting the people he loved, making it through the night. This time around, knowing Jiya loved him back, Andrew could admit to being scared last night. Scared there would be more guys. Another attack. Maybe a loaded gun next time. He didn’t want to be that scared again. He couldn’t risk his life anymore when it was worth living now.
More than anything, Andrew wanted the freedom to sleep beside Jiya. To kiss her mouth every time she walked into the kitchen. Right now, he was walking on tightrope over a deep ravine and Jiya, his beautiful, perfect Jiya, was on the other side.
“Good morning,” she said, voice husky and sweet. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“Thanks for being here.” He almost groaned watching her take a sip of the dark brew. “You looked upset when you came out of your house. What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
He squinted at her.
She sighed. “My mother isn’t exactly thrilled that I broke the engagement, so there’s a little tension in the house. It’s to be expected.” Her gaze went to the side. “Don’t worry about it.”
Gut churning over the mention of her engagement, Andrew tipped her chin up. “Of course I’m going to worry about it.” He swallowed a fist-sized lump, his words emerging in a croak. “They really liked this guy for you, huh?”
Jiya set down her coffee and twined their fingers together. “I would have spent my whole life loving you from afar and never being able to have you. You think avoiding that heartache was a sacrifice for me?” Andrew almost asked her to stop talking, her words made him so unsteady on his feet, but he couldn’t find the breath she’d stolen. “He was a nice person. Someone I could be friends with, but—”
“No.” He carried the small of her wrist to his mouth and bared his teeth there. “Telling you not to being friends with him makes me a bastard. Hell, I’m not even able to make you my own promises yet. But I wouldn’t handle it well, Jiya. I’d lose it.” He kissed her wrist, her knuckles and fingers. “Maybe I don’t have the right to be jealous yet, but I’m always sick with it where you’re concerned. You’re mine.”
“Yes, I am. And you’re mine.”
The pace of his heartbeat tripled. “Until the day I die, Jiya.”
Her eyes closed for a moment. “I like the ways you’re selfish with me, Andrew. Because you’re selfless in the ways that matter to me.”
“How is that?”
She cocked her head, studying him closely. “You get nervous when I fly, don’t you?”
“I feel like my insides are being ripped apart,” he said truthfully, without hesitating.