A beat passed. “Open the door, Diesel. You took my brother’s keys.”
His heart climbed up into his mouth. “Jamie?”
“No, it’s Paul Rudd.”
Trying to breathe normally, Marcus eliminated the remaining distance between him and apartment entrance, twisting open the deadbolt and opening the door. He was so busy gulping down the sight of Jamie, Marcus forgot he was holding a bat. “How did you know where…”
Jamie rested a hand on the doorjamb, drawing Marcus’s attention to his bicep. “We dropped you off in Andrew’s car that night it was raining so you wouldn’t have to walk. Remember?” He shrugged and sauntered into the apartment. “I just looked at the names on the buzzer. Pretty obvious Deez Nuts in 2A was you. Why are you holding a bat?”
Horror washed over Marcus until he realized Jamie was actually referring to the bat and not the erection springing up in his sweat pants. Sure. Now he gets hard. “Oh, uh…” Turning slightly, Marcus tried to shift his cock to one side and make it less noticeable. “I thought you were a ghost from the Depression.”
Jamie turned with a cocked eyebrow. “Bats don’t work on ghosts. Everyone knows that.”
“What does work?”
“You just have to ignore them,” Jamie said. “You’re well versed in that.”
“Does that mean I’m good at it?”
A smile tugged at the corner of Jamie’s mouth. “Yeah.”
Before Marcus could crawl toward Jamie on his hands and knees, complaining about how fucking horrible the last week had been, Jamie reached past Marcus and used his index finger to lift a set of keys off Marcus’s entry table, complete with a lucky rabbit’s foot and a four-leaf clover. “I’m going to get these back to Andrew.”
“Oh.” Marcus managed. “Okay.”
“You obviously have both sets, right? Since you got in to your place.”
“Yeah.” Christ. Jamie smelled so good. Coffee and books and whiskey. “Guess so.”
“Next time, remember, your keys are the only ones with a GNC discount tag and a Rick and Morty keychain.”
“I was wondering when I switched those for a rabbit’s foot.” Let him go. Let him walk out. Don’t open your mouth again. “That’s the only reason you came over?”
“No.” Jamie took a step closer to Marcus and it felt so good to have Jamie in his orbit, he stumbled back a step, his ass coming up against the entry table. “I came over here because I was wondering if you cut me off because—”
“Don’t say I cut you off, Jamie,” Marcus interrupted miserably.
Jamie kept going. “I was wondering if it was because you weren’t attracted to me anymore and had no use for me. Or if you were still attracted and that’s the problem.”
All right. So they weren’t pretending anymore. That scared the hell out of Marcus, not having that safety net of denial, but it was almost five o’clock in the morning and they might as well have been the last two people on earth. Lying or hiding seemed pointless. Especially when he’d missed more than the way Jamie made his body feel. He’d missed his friend. Keeping the truth buried from his friend wasn’t an option. “Well go ahead. Aren’t you going to ask why I stayed away?”
“No, Marcus. I’m not.” Jamie closed his eyes and laughed without humor. “Marcus, you have enough wood to fill a national fucking park. Safe to say you’re still attracted to me.”
Marcus looked down to find the front of his sweats tented to hell. He was so hard, the tip of his cock was standing straight out from his body, almost brushing against Jamie. And Marcus couldn’t control the embarrassment. Talking about his attraction to another man was enough for one night. The physical proof was too much. Too exposing.
He could feel his ears turning red as he tried to push down his cock with the heel of his hand. Not helping. Nothing was helping, his flesh continuing to rise back up, thick and pulsing.
It was difficult to meet Jamie’s eyes, and when Marcus finally managed to do it, he caught the tail end of Jamie’s hurt, before it vanished. “This is why I’ve been trying to stay away from you,” Marcus rasped. “Hurting you is the worst thing I can think of. And I don’t…I don’t want to deal with this. It’s not who I thought I was. Or who my family and friends think I am.
“Before the train, I could…pretend I just wanted to be around you because I fucking like you. As a friend. And I do. That’s one of the reasons I’ve been depressed and…” Marcus pressed his thumbs into his eye sockets. “You knew this would happen. It’s why you told me to leave you the hell alone ages ago and I should have listened. I’m listening now.”
“Only I don’t want to be left alone as much as I thought I did, do I?”