“I need to tell you something… I don’t know who else to talk to.”
“I doubt I can be much help, but I’m always here for you.”
“You know Hades the best, so you’re my best option.”
His eyes narrowed.
“You have to promise me you won’t tell him what I’m about to tell you.”
Now he looked even more uncomfortable. He took a deep breath and sighed audibly. He grabbed his glass and took a deep drink, handling it like scotch instead of wine. “You’re putting me in a tough spot. I’m already in the doghouse.”
“I understand that, but I have nowhere else to go.”
He sighed again. “Okay, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m scared too.”
He leaned forward and rested his hands against his lips. He stared at me for a long time before he dropped his hands back to the table. “If he finds out I kept a big secret from him, I’ll really have no chance of fixing anything. It’ll be the final nail in the coffin.”
“I know I’m asking for a lot. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Talk to him. You can talk to him about anything.”
“Not about this…”
He rubbed the back of his neck before he finally gave in. “Okay, I’m all ears.”
It would be the first time I would admit the truth out loud. It was scary, like jumping out of a plane to skydive. “I’m pregnant.”
His body tensed noticeably but relaxed an instant later. He sighed in relief before his eyes softened. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Hades will be very happy. Track him down and tell him. He’ll be over the moon.”
If I’d gotten pregnant sooner than we’d planned, he wouldn’t have cared. He would’ve been supportive and excited. He was the kind of man that wasn’t afraid of a challenge, wasn’t afraid of the unexpected. But that wasn’t the situation now. “I’m not sure if he’s the father.”
The color drained from Damien’s face, and he began to look sick. His hands covered his face, and he sighed quietly to himself. His fingers dug into his hair, and he groaned in misery. After a moment, he dropped his hands and looked at me. “Shit.”
“Yeah…”
“And you have no idea…?”
I answered his unspoken question. “No. Not unless I get a paternity test.”
“Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
I nodded slightly and battled the emotion in my throat. It should be a happy moment for me, but it was one of the worst in my life. “I’m afraid to tell him the truth. He’ll either ask me to get an abortion…or he’ll leave. Our relationship is already rocky as it is. Now, this…” I held on to the stem of my wineglass even though I couldn’t take a drink. “I’ve loved being married to him. I didn’t expect that to happen, but it did. The last thing I want is to lose him…”
Damien was quiet as he plotted a response. “I’m not sure what he’s going to say. I’m not going to lie—he’s not going to be happy about this, about the fact that this is happening to you at all. But I can promise you he’s gonna stick by your side, no matter what. He would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. That man will be just as committed to you as he ever was. Tell him.”
“I don’t see how he could look past this…” My eyes shifted to the table. “If the baby isn’t his, he’s not going to want anything to do with it. He’s not going to want anything to do with me. The baby needs to be his, or I need to get an abortion.”
Damien shook his head. “No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“Hades would never react that way.”
“Why wouldn’t he? This isn’t what he signed up for. He’s not going to want to be burdened with raising a kid from another man. It doesn’t make any sense for him to be accommodating.”
Damien looked across the restaurant, several thoughts dancing across the surface of his eyes. He was quiet for a long time, thinking to himself. He eventually shook his head slightly. “I just do. I know how he feels about you.”
“I know I’m his wife, but this is more complicated than that.”
He closed his eyes for a moment as if he were restraining himself. “Just tell him, Sofia.”
I never considered myself to be a coward.
I’d always been fearless, never afraid of anyone else. Outside opinions and thoughts never dictated my feelings. But then again, I’d never cared about someone the way I cared about Hades. His opinion meant the world to me.
It meant everything.
So I continued to keep the truth bottled inside because I was scared.
I got ready for bed in the bathroom, changing into a long t-shirt that hid the curves of my body from view. When I rubbed my palm over my stomach, I noticed the little bulge that had started to form. I’d noticed it before, but I’d assumed I’d just been gaining weight. I’d been at home taking care of Hades, so all I ever did was eat and sit.