Lover (Betrothed 3)

“You are so beautiful.” I pulled up her shirt slightly and pressed a kiss to her stomach. I wanted to kiss her everywhere, appreciate her body with my tongue, but I would keep my hormones in check until she verbally told me she was ready.

But if she made me wait any longer, I might explode.

Her fingers moved into my hair. “You think so?”

I angled my face back to hers. “Yes.” I lay beside her, my head on the same pillow, and I rubbed my palm over her stomach. “I’ve never wanted you more.” I didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, but that was the honest truth. I was a man deeply in love with my wife, and I wanted to make love to her all night until the sun rose the next morning.

Her eyes softened as she looked at me. “I was so scared to tell you.”

“Never be scared to tell me anything.”

Her eyes tilted down to my chest, and her fingers lightly stroked the muscles. “I thought you were going to leave.”

She really had no idea I was in love with her. I’d sacrificed my body for her freedom. She thought I would do that for just anyone? She cared more about seeing the bad things in relationships; she was oblivious to the good. She waited for me to sneak off with another woman. So that was what she looked for. But since she never expected me to love her, she couldn’t see it. “I’ll never leave you, baby. We’ll spend our lives together, die together, and then be buried together.”

Her eyes softened again. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

I had no idea why the universe thought I was worthy of her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to find out if you’re the father?” Her voice came out as a whisper. “I understand if you want to know.”

“It really doesn’t matter to me. It’s up to you. But if we’re gonna keep this baby regardless, then I don’t see why it matters. If it weren’t mine, would you want to abort it?”

She placed her hand over mine. “If that really happened…I don’t think I could do it. I hate that man all the way down to my soul, but now that I can feel the life inside me, I just couldn’t do it.”

“Then we don’t need to do a test. This is our baby. End of story.”

It was the first time she’d smiled at me in months. Her hand squeezed the two of mine, and she released a deep sigh. “I was so scared. I was scared to lose you. I was scared to do this alone. It made me realize how much I need you. You are such a big part of my life now. You’re my best friend, you’re my husband, you’re everything. When we got married, I didn’t know how things were going to be, but I certainly didn’t expect this. I didn’t expect us to be so close. I didn’t expect us to trust each other like this. And I didn’t expect you to be such a good man to me.” She couldn’t meet my gaze, as if it was too hard. “After everything that happened, you were still there for me. I’m sorry I was difficult in the beginning of our marriage. I’m sorry I hurt you in the past. I’m so glad I married you, and I couldn’t picture my life with anyone else.”

I watched her stare down at our hands, and I was relieved I didn’t have to hide my expression. Her words touched me down to my bones. She’d never said anything like that to me before, and it was such a relief to hear the emotion in her voice. I wasn’t on the verge of tears, but I knew I was staring at her like she was the love of my life.

Because she was.

My hand cupped her cheek and slid into her hair as I moved toward her. I tugged her closer to me, making our bodies become one. Then my lips found hers, and I kissed her gently, slowly, with restrained passion. I couldn’t make love to my wife with my body, but I could make love to her with her mouth, with my lips. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, just put the truth out there and deal with the consequences later. Even if she got angry, I didn’t care. Even if she would never love me back. I still wouldn’t regret saying it. I was a man who loved a woman.

And I wanted her to know that.

I felt like a new man.

There had been a stark separation between us for so long, and now that the barrier was removed, we felt like partners again, like husband and wife again. Now that her fears had been erased, she knew I was here for the long haul. She trusted me more now than she ever had before, and it even seemed like she felt something for me. Maybe she wasn’t in love with me, but it seemed like she loved me.