“Hades?”
He opened his eyes again.
“I want to know.”
His eyes narrowed slightly.
“I want to know if you’re the father.”
His expression didn’t change. His eyes didn’t convey annoyance or relief. He was a closed book, his thoughts a mystery. He’d been quieter lately after our incident in the closet, more withdrawn, like he needed his own space at the moment. “Okay.”
“What does that mean?” I couldn’t tell if he approved of my request or was indifferent to it.
His eyes remained locked on mine. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
“But it doesn’t bother you?”
He shrugged. “Whatever those results are, they don’t make a difference. But if you need to know, then I understand.” He was far more supportive of this than I ever could’ve imagined.
I wasn’t sure I would handle it so well if I were in his place. “I wish I could be calm like you.”
“It’s different for me than it is for you. And I already know what the results are going to say.”
I gently rubbed my fingers against his chest. “How can you be so sure?”
“I just know the universe wouldn’t let that happen to us.”
“You mean God?” We never talked about our religious beliefs. We both came from Italian families, so it was just assumed we were both Catholic. But based on his career choice, perhaps I was wrong.
“Maybe. I know someone is looking out for me. I just don’t know who.”
“So you think everything that happens to us is fate?”
He considered the question carefully. “No. But I think someone will always give you a new path…if you need one.” His hand moved to my stomach, and he gently stroked his fingers over the surface. “We’ll see the doctor tomorrow. You’ll get your answer then.”
“I wish I could be as confident as you.”
“Don’t compare yourself to me. We’ve experienced vastly different things.”
But I still wished I had the same kind of faith. I’d lost my faith a long time ago, long before Maddox took me. I didn’t trust relationships or men. But all of that changed once I gave Hades a real chance. He was everything he claimed to be. “I also want to know if it’s a boy or a girl.”
“Do you have a preference?”
“No. I just want to know. You aren’t the least bit curious?”
“I already know it’s a boy.”
I rolled my eyes. “There’s no way you could possibly know that.”
“Then I guess we’ll see…”
“Does that mean you never want to have a girl?”
“I never cared either way.” His expression slowly fell. “But now I feel a little differently about it.”
I dropped my gaze, knowing exactly what he meant by that.
He was quiet for a while, his thoughts drifting away to a different place. He eventually closed his eyes, and his fingers stopped moving against my stomach. I knew he wasn’t drifting off to sleep because his breathing hadn’t changed. But he needed the silence anyway to cleanse his thoughts of the disturbing images in his head.
“Don’t feel bad for me. Don’t think that way. I’m here with you now…and I’m happy.”
We sat side by side in the doctor’s office. My legs were crossed, and I was shaking my ankle because I was so nervous. The white room felt sterile, and that blankness made me more agitated. The results I was about to receive would change my life. A part of me didn’t want to know. But the other part knew not knowing would haunt me.
Hades was in his dark suit because he had been at the bank prior to our doctor’s appointment. One ankle rested on the opposite knee, and he looked so relaxed, like he was about to go into a massage or something. He adjusted his watch and glanced at the time before he turned his gaze to my shaking ankle. His large hand reached out and grabbed my thigh, and he steadied it with a strong grasp. He gave it a gentle squeeze before a whisper escaped his lips. “Baby.”
I stilled at his words.
“It’ll be alright.”
I took a deep breath and slowly released it from my lungs. I closed my eyes and tried to think of a beautiful meadow.
“I am the father. I promise you.”
I turned to look at him, needing the assurance in his gaze.
He moved his hand to mine and squeezed it. “And even if it’s not, it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change this.” He brought my hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on my knuckles. The stubble on his jawline lightly brushed against my skin, scratching it.
The doctor walked inside a moment later, and he looked through the papers in our file. First, he told us the gender of our baby. “Congratulations. You’re having a boy.”
My hands squeezed his a little harder as I saw a glimpse of my future. I imagined a little boy running around the house, giggling without me far behind him. He had brown eyes and dark hair, a handsome boy who would become a handsome man like his father. But then the dread hit my heart again when I realized I had no idea who the father even was.