He flicked her a sideways glance. “What’s done is done.”
A wave of antagonism shot through her at the jaded glint in his eyes but she tamped it down because now was not the time. “What happened today, Nik?”
* * *
He turned to face her, a closed look on his face. “Why don’t we choose another topic? This one is getting a little old.”
She looked at him silently, waiting him out.
He lifted a shoulder. “He was inflammatory, as I said. Half of what he was saying wasn’t true, and yet I couldn’t counter it properly because my advisers didn’t have the information. Weren’t prepared.”
“And you blew up?”
“You watched the media coverage?”
“Yes.”
He looked back out at the gardens. “It was unfortunate. He pushed the right buttons.”
Silence fell between them. She studied the play of the moonlight across the hard lines of his face.
“I don’t think your father is the only one who hasn’t processed your brother’s death,” she said quietly. “It’s been a huge shock. You need to give yourself time, Nik. Time to grieve.”
He shot her a hard look. “I don’t need a counselor, Sofi´a.”
“Well you need something. You are like a powder keg today, ready to blow at the slightest provocation.”
His jaw hardened. “I’m fairly sure I’ve had more than my fair share of it today. It was a mistake. We all make them.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “We do.” She laced her hands together on the railing. “Where does the antagonism between you and your father come from?”
“We’ve never seen eye to eye.”
“And your brother and he did?”
He turned to her, his gaze firing. “I said I was done with this topic.”
She gave him an even look. “You can dish it out but you can’t take it?”
“Signomi?”
“You picked me apart that night in New York, Nik. You pointed out things about me I hadn’t necessarily had the courage to address. So I could see myself clearly. Are you too afraid to do the same?”
“I see myself just fine,” he growled. “I let my temper get in the way today. Forgive me if it’s a bit much to have what my brother would have done thrown in my face one too many times.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Did your brother’s philosophies differ from yours?”
His mouth flattened. “My ideas on how to run this country, on life, are pragmatic, progressive. I have a more international view. My father and Athamos preferred to remain mired in the past. Enamored of traditions and ideals that no longer make sense. Athamos did not always recognize the need to forge his own path.”
And how difficult must that have been? For his brother and father to have been on the same page and Nik on another entirely? To be on the outside of that bond?
And now, she thought, studying the deeply etched lines on his face, the dark circles beneath his eyes, him as the new king, with the weight of a nation on his shoulders, still gaining his sea legs in a role she suspected he wouldn’t have chosen. A father mired in grief and of no help to him. A man in the middle of a storm.
“You called me philosophical that night in New York,” she said, “about my father. I was angry, too, Nik. For a long time. I didn’t understand why he was taken from me. Couldn’t stop thinking what if. I didn’t get there overnight. You won’t, either.”
“Your father’s death was a tragic accident, Sofi´a. Athamos’s was senseless. Selfish. He got in that car and threw his life away over a woman.”
“And the airline could have properly serviced my father’s plane. If I had carried that around with me my entire life, kept assigning blame, I would have ended up bitter and angry. Don’t do that to yourself.”
“This isn’t the same thing.”
“Why?”
“Because he played with something that wasn’t his to give.” His voice rose until he was nearly shouting at her. “He was the heir to the throne. He threw my country into crisis without thinking of the consequences.”
“And he put you in this position.”
A stillness enveloped him. The icy anger in his blue eyes morphed into a white-hot fury that made her heart race. “I do not begrudge the role I have been given, Sofi´a.”
She drew in a breath, her heart pounding. “I wasn’t suggesting that. I was merely saying it would be understandable for you to feel resentment for having your life turned upside down. For having all of this thrust upon you.”