My heart stopped a moment, and his grave words hung heavy over the line. I’d never doubted Cristiano had demons, only that he’d ever show them to me. Or anyone.
“Those you didn’t?” I repeated softly. “Who?”
A beat passed, and then another. I thought he might actually answer until he said, “A story for another time, my love. Now, it’s really time to say goodnight. Sleep well. I will, knowing you’re one of the protected.”
The line went dead, but I made no move except to raise my head to the stars twinkling above us. I was one of the protected, which meant he cared, and though that should’ve come as a surprise, it didn’t. The tenderness in his voice didn’t match the man I’d thought I’d married. This man had a past that I’d lived alongside him and which I still knew very little about. How could I, when I’d been so consumed with hating him?
Cristiano had lost people he’d cared about, but hadn’t been able to protect, and he was trying to make that right by doing everything he could for strangers.
Unless it wasn’t about strangers at all. Cristiano had lost my mother when it’d been his job to protect her. And perhaps he was trying to make that right . . . but how?
The answer sat on the tip of my tongue but also eluded me.
Silence fell over the night as the waves lulled. With a noise at my back, I spun around.
Framed by the clean, white arched doorway, Jazmín looked almost devilish with her dainty, sharp features and red hair. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Me?” My heartrate kicked up a notch. “This is my bedroom.”
“I mean in the Badlands.” She took a step toward me, narrowing her eyes. “You may think he’s blind. That he’s too wrapped up in you to see anything else, but I see everything.”
“He’s hardly wrapped up in me,” I said, also stepping forward. “If you saw anything, you’d know that. Maybe you’re the one who’s blind.”
Jaz made two tiny fists, her mouth sliding into a frown. “I meant what I said. If anything happens to him, you’ll pay the price. If he doesn’t come home, you’ll have all of us to face.”
“Why wouldn’t he come h-home?” I asked, stumbling over the strange word. It wasn’t the first time I’d referred to the Badlands that way, but it was the first time it felt . . . true. And the first time fear had ever entered my heart that Cristiano might not return.
“Every time he leaves these walls, he’s in danger. But this time especially, and you don’t even appreciate it.” She shook her head up at the night sky. “He’s wasting time and resources that could go to people who actually need it.”
I wrinkled my nose, trying to make sense of her words. Cristiano was in search of something he desperately wanted. Something he needed. And he’d said it involved my father and me.
I’d thought power was the only thing that drove a man like Cristiano, but power was a fickle bitch that wore many masks.
Sex. Money. Revenge.
Cristiano had only hinted that it wasn’t any of those, but he’d never confirmed anything. He had told me he was done scheming, though. What, then, could possibly drive him to put himself in harm’s way? And why, when I’d spent the last few weeks wishing to be free of him, did the thought of him in danger inspire concern?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jazmín,” I said. “He didn’t tell me where he was going. He barely said good-bye when he left.”
“He went because of you. Because you told him to. Because even though he gives you everything,”—she gestured emphatically around the palatial room where I rested my head each night—“it’s still not enough.”
“I never asked for any of this,” I said, my voice wavering until I reminded myself it was true. My cheeks warmed, my temper rising as I repeated, “I never asked for any of this.”
“But you’re lucky to have it, and have you ever thanked him? Ever returned any of the kindness he shows you?” As she took another step, I straightened. I was taller than her, but she possessed a scrappiness I never would, no matter how much I trained. “Out there, he’s exposed. The deeper he gets into this, the more dangerous it is.”
“What is this?” He’d said he’d look until he found what he needed—or until it drove him mad. I’d told him to go, but I’d had no idea I was the force behind his search. “What’s he looking for?”
“It’s not my place to say—”
“You inserted yourself in this, now tell me what puts my husband in danger,” I demanded.
Slowly, she crossed her thin arms, glaring back at me. After a moment, she gritted her teeth and looked out over the water. “He knows you’ll never trust him, and never believe him, without proof.” She turned back to me. “And even if he doesn’t know it yet, he loves you too much to live with that.”