“I can’t trust you,” I said weakly. I wasn’t even sure it was true. With all the ways he’d hurt me, nothing should’ve raged stronger in me than anger and skepticism—but in that moment, I couldn’t find any of that. On some level, I recognized all the things he’d done, he truly believed he’d done them to protect me. And I knew—I was in too deep with a man who’d ruined my life without ever touching me. If this went any further, I might not survive it. “How is it possible that I could trust you?”
I asked more out of awe that it was true than anything, but he had an answer for me anyway. “Because back then, I couldn’t give you this choice. You wouldn’t have considered the consequences.” Manning leaned in and my breath caught, my heart leaping into my throat. But he didn’t kiss me. Instead, he opened the door of the cab. “I was looking out for you, and I still am. Always. Go home, Lake.”
Disappointment hit me first, and then it filtered into embarrassment. Shame. Anger. He’d made me want it yet again, and again, he was taking it away. “I knew it. I knew you didn’t have the guts to do this.”
He slammed the door shut. “I have the guts. I’m prepared to destroy everything in our way, but you’re going to lose your sister forever and your best friend, too. And once you put this in motion, I’m never going anywhere you aren’t. I’m not walking away from you again. So you better know for goddamn sure you want this.” The night had gotten quiet around us, but he grew louder. We grew louder. “This isn’t like that night on the beach, when you begged me to love you knowing I wasn’t allowed. I’m allowing myself now, and you know what’ll happen if we do this. Not only will people get hurt, but everything you know about me is only going to get worse.” He set his jaw. “I’ve always thought of you as mine, but now you will be for real. If you thought I was overprotective or possessive before, you have no idea how bad it can get. Are you ready for that?”
Every nerve in my body buzzed. Manning made me dizzy, he inspired an ache between my legs, he was the force behind the hammering heart in my chest. I’d spent every day of my adult life wanting him, loving him, willing to give up anything for him. That hadn’t changed—I’d only been made to ignore it. I didn’t want to get in the car, but I knew I was supposed to. I was supposed to hate him for what he did to me, and that only made everything more confusing. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
He opened the door. “Then get in the fucking cab—go home. If you have the smallest doubt about me, go and think and don’t come back to me until you know for sure what we’re getting into. Or stay away and be satisfied.”
Did I have doubts? There was no question I did. My instinct to love him was as strong as my instinct to cower from him. To cover my chest, anticipating the next blow. He’d beaten my heart black and blue, so what right did he have to try and take it back?
I moved to get in the taxi, but to my surprise, he stepped down from the curb and cupped my face in his palm. With dreamlike slowness, he lowered his mouth to my cheek for a chaste, gentle kiss. Between the open door and him, I was caged into a corner, completely blocked from the rest of the world—consumed by his scent, the warmth of his hand, his smooth lips on my skin. “This doesn’t mean I don’t want to fight for you,” he said. “That I don’t want you more than anything, even knowing the damage it can do. It just means I need you to be sure this is what you want.”
It’s what I want, I nearly screamed, but regardless of the fact that Tiffany and I had been as far apart as possible without actually being estranged, she was still my sister. And he was still her husband, still the man who’d hurt me all those years ago. Who’d nearly destroyed me. I couldn’t be expected to forget that in a day.
“Fuck,” he muttered, wetting his lips.
“What?”
“I was wrong. I said kissing you would change everything, but everything has already changed.” He closed his eyes for the briefest moment. “It’s too late for me. So in case this is the last chance I get . . .”
And then, tucked against a cab, in the middle of a busy city street, under our starless night sky, Manning bent his head and opened my mouth with his. Our tongues met, our lips pressed together, his hand curled into my jaw—and we kissed. I couldn’t believe, just like that, it was happening. We felt each other for the first time but fell into the kiss like old lovers. His thumb grazed my cheekbone as I slid my arms around his neck. When my knees buckled, he caught my waist, pulling me against his solid body, his need pressing my stomach—undeniable, hard, begging. The kiss didn’t last long, but it was so right, so heady that I had to pull back because I’d forgotten to breathe and was seeing stars. Worried I might pass out, I steadied myself with a hand on his chest.