She kept crying, touching my face, seemingly memorizing the parts of it with her hands like she’d be blind by the end of it. “If you don’t deserve to be happy, then I don’t, either.”
“You deserve everything.”
“You are, and always have been, my everything,” she said. “If you think I deserve that, why did you take it away?”
I had no simple answer for that, not that I needed one. She knew all of it. I pressed my face to hers. Her wet cheeks cooled the heat in mine. I kissed her slowly, thoroughly, until we were crawling back toward the headboard. I got behind her, pulling her against me. Her smallness sank right into the crook of my body, completely sheltered by me. I pulled a blanket over myself and tented her. I could be her shelter, her shield, her home. Her body nestled into mine like a butterfly in its cocoon. I would happily be an ugly, mottled shell to protect her beauty. Her innocence, on the other hand, I had kept intact long enough. I would strip that from her in its entirety. It couldn’t be any other way. If she was finally mine, then I’d need to have her in all ways possible—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I kissed her all over, drinking salty tears off her face and making up for all the times I’d wanted to feel her skin against mine but couldn’t. My dick hardened against the softness of her thigh, but I reached between us and shifted it out of the way. I wanted to go again, but it wasn’t the time. I raked her hair away from her face to take her in. Did she believe me when I said I loved her? I only had myself to blame if not. I would have to prove it. Over and over. Day in and day out. Having spent all night vigilant at her door, my eyelids threatened to close, but I forced them to stay open until she’d drifted off. And finally, I got everything I’d ever wanted . . . to have Lake, to feel her from the inside out, to sleep with her in my arms.
9
Lake
I woke up to the moon coming through the window, lighting my otherwise dark bedroom. The first thing I felt was Manning pressed against my back. The second was a chill on any body part that wasn’t tangled with his. I did my best to turn and face him, but I had to go slowly, partly so I wouldn’t wake him but mostly because his arm was heavy on top of me, and I had to lift it with both hands in order to move. Once I’d turned over, I burrowed into him, pressing my chest and stomach and crotch to his body. I pushed one of my legs between his, lengthening the other against him. He was hot, and big, and with a little maneuvering, I could almost get every one of my body parts against him. Last was my face, which I rubbed against his neck.
“What’re you doing?” he asked, his voice heavy with sleep.
“Getting warm.”
“The tip of your nose is cold.”
I smiled against his throat. “Any part of me not touching you is cold.”
He answered by sliding a big hand down my spine. “What about this?” he asked, pulling me even closer by my rear end. “It’s not touching me.”
“It got you all day. It’s nighttime now.”
“Mmm, is it?” He twitched against my stomach.
Nerves and excitement buzzed in me. Sex with Manning was unlike anything I could’ve ever dreamed up. I was thankful for the few times I’d fooled around with Corbin and had dreaded sex enough to stop. I could see now that while I trusted Corbin, my friend, in every sense of the word, I wasn’t able to completely bare myself to him. There were times I’d told myself to just get it over with, and Corbin would’ve been happy to take my virginity, but I was glad I’d trusted my instincts. I’d saved everything for Manning, and he was worth the wait.
“I’ll do my best to warm you.” Manning rubbed my back, slipping his hand a little down the length of my thigh until the point where my leg was clamped between both of his. “If any part starts to get cold, tell me and I’ll put my hand there.”
“I can think of a place.”
He chuckled in my ear. “That is definitely not cold.”
“What’s it like?”
“Imagine the warmest, silkiest, tightest place you can be. It is, without a doubt, the best spot in the world.”
I held in a giggle. Warm and silky sounded nice, but I wasn’t sure about tight. Must’ve been a guy thing.
“Lake?”
“Hmm?”
“What’s that noise?”
I listened. Through the thin walls, my neighbors watched TV. Downstairs, city dwellers headed to and from dinner. There was the occasional siren. And then I heard it, the tiny and unfortunately familiar squeaking coming from inside the apartment. I shivered. “A mouse.”