“Then say it, Manning. I thought you’d be so excited to get this call, I was so certain you wanted this, and now I don’t know what to think. I’d feel so much better hearing you say we’re having a baby, honey.”
I shook my head, looking at the floor, wanting to die on the spot. “I can’t.”
“Please. I need this. You don’t know how stressed I’ve been trying to reach you.” She sniffled. “Once you say it aloud, it’ll sink in, and you won’t be mad anymore—I just know it.”
Bullshit. Tiffany knew exactly what she was doing. Lake was still naked from the waist up, twisted to inspect the seat of her jeans before she buttoned them up. Well, what the fuck. I had to tell Lake somehow, and Tiffany wouldn’t stop until she got what she wanted. That was a lesson I thought I’d learned long ago, but it was never truer than in this moment.
I took a deep drag on my cigarette and put it out on the ledge, bracing myself to break Lake’s heart again. “We’re having a baby.”
19
Lake
The back of my jeans was still a bit damp from the snow, but I figured Manning and I were headed to my place anyway. He had to check out from the hotel and his flight wasn’t for a few more hours. I wondered if he had any meetings today, but if so, maybe it didn’t much matter if he skipped them considering he’d be done with the job as soon as he told Tiffany the truth.
That was what I was thinking as I buttoned up my jeans and heard Manning say, “We’re having a baby.”
I glanced up to find him staring at me. The darkness in his eyes struck me first, then how he looked physically pained, sick even, when he swallowed.
A baby? I wondered. Whose baby? What was happening?
Ash from his cigarette had fallen onto his thigh. He hadn’t put it out completely, and a thin trail of smoke disappeared out the window.
He dropped the phone to his side. Slowly, the truth started to pierce the bubble I’d been subconsciously protecting the past few seconds. He’d been on the phone with Tiffany. She’d been trying to reach him for days. He wheezed as if he’d just been sucker punched. The silence made everything surreal, the air so thick that I put my hand around my throat, as if I were choking. I stood still so long that I got dizzy.
It was Tiffany. It was their baby.
The phone started to honk and he hung it up, breaking the stillness in the room. “Lake, listen—”
“Don’t.” The sharpness in my voice surprised even me. “Don’t say it.”
“I have to. Come here, Lake.”
My head pounded. Heat burned up my chest into my cheeks. I’d never been able to think straight around him. Never. Had no control around him. Not even a little. I held the heels of my palms to my temples. “I can’t.”
“That was your sister.” His pants were still undone, and his stomach flexed as he stood from the windowsill. “She’s pregnant.”
I died a little inside. That statement killed off any part of me that was hoping I’d misunderstood. I put a hand up. “Don’t come over here.” I realized that I, too, was topless. I covered my breasts and stepped back, nearly tripping over my duffel bag. My things were strewn on the ground from when I’d dumped them out last night like an impulsive, stupid child. That was what I was. Reckless. Childish. So incredibly naïve to think this could ever work. I put on the t-shirt closest to me, and of course it was Manning’s and it smelled like him, which choked me up.
I got to my knees, grabbing my stupid pink pajamas to shove them in my bag, even though I’d just as soon leave them behind.
“What are you doing?” Manning asked.
Leave. I wanted him to leave. I wanted to leave. I couldn’t even form the word, just kept packing whatever was nearest.
“Lake,” he said, as if saying my name over and over and over would change anything. He came and tried to get the duffel from me. “Stop it.”
“You stop it.” I stood and shoved him away, but didn’t move. “Don’t touch me or my things.”
“I’m as shocked as you are.”
I’d lost him. Again. I’d thought I’d had everything—I’d told him I loved him, not hours ago. I’d never really had him, though, and deep down, I’d known that. Whose fault was it that I’d let him convince me otherwise? “You made me say it,” I said, unable to stop the sobs from breaking through. “You made me tell you I love you.” I threw my weight into my next attempt to budge him, but he stayed put, even as I pushed and pushed. “I got fired for you. I introduced you to my friends. I ignored Corbin to make you happy. And Val, she warned me—she knew this would happen.”