Move the Stars (Something in the Way 3)

“I bought it for you,” he clarified. “I wanted you to have one like Maddy’s, since she’d loved it so much.”

“Then I kept it safe for you,” I said and held it out for him. “But it’s not mine, and it never was.”

“Keep it while I’m away. It’s my promise to you. I’ll be back. I’ll love you. I’ll make your apartment into our home. I’ll eat your Christmas dinners. I’ll be a father to your children.”

I stopped myself from accepting his gift and taking the future I was owed. I wanted to ask him to stay and experience all the colors of the mood ring with me, to light me up when I was dark and live in rainbows when times were good. But I had to let that go, and he needed to let me go, so I said, “If you have a daughter, you can give it to her.”

I’d never seen Manning cry, but he’d come close when he’d told me about Maddy in the truck years ago, and I could see he was close now. He hugged my stomach to his chest. “Don’t do this, Lake. Remember what you tried to tell me all those years ago? Love is enough.”

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly and tried to move, but he tightened his grip on me. “Manning, you have to let me go.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to.” I pried his fingers off, set the ring on the nightstand, and finished packing my bag while he watched. There wasn’t anything left to say.

When I had everything, I put the duffel over my shoulder and faced him. He stood at the foot of the bed with bloodshot eyes, taking up all the space and air in the room. I wasn’t sure when I’d see him again. I couldn’t envision ever going back home now, not with what I’d have to face, so maybe this was it. My chest felt as if it were being drawn into itself like a corset to which Manning held the strings. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I wasn’t ready.

He closed the space between us and cupped my chin like he was going to kiss me. I wanted him to, but I didn’t think I’d survive it. He wasn’t mine to kiss anyway, not that he ever had been.

“Birdy,” he said.

For the briefest moment, I was sixteen again, fighting my impulsiveness, choking back words I shouldn’t say, hiding my love for him. I looked away, and after a moment, turned and left the room.

In the hallway, I couldn’t breathe. My chest constricted so hard, I was sure any moment it’d squeeze my heart right up into my throat. But it didn’t. The heart was a muscle, and it could be trained. With every injury, it got stronger. So I put one foot in front of the other and resisted the urge to turn back for the only man I’d ever truly love.

Part Two

1

Lake

2003

Stage lights flooded over the cast, and we took a synchronized bow. Despite being nearly blinded, I wanted to hold on to this feeling as long as I could. I wasn’t sure when I’d get it next. The audience’s applause was louder and longer than usual tonight. Maybe they sensed it, too, whatever was in the air. As a cast, we’d gone the extra mile, our emotions high knowing we only had a few nights until it was curtain for good.

My castmate squeezed my hand. We took another bow, grinned at each other, and that was it.

Backstage, we did the obligatory rounds, meeting fans, signing playbills, and holding conversations with castmates’ friends. When I saw two dozen roses headed in my direction, I knew instantly who was behind it.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, grinning.

Corbin peeked around the flowers. “I can’t make it to closing night next week since I’ll be out of town on business. I didn’t want to miss seeing you one last time, though.”

I took the bouquet and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

“You get better every time I see you up there.”

“You watched the whole show?” I asked. “How many times is that now? Three?”

He shrugged. “I just can’t believe you’re actually doing it.”

“It’s just Off-Broadway, and I’m up there less than half an hour total.” I nudged him. “I hope you at least brought a date so you wouldn’t get bored.”

“Not tonight. I thought maybe you and I could get a celebratory dinner.”

“Sounds good. I’m starved. Want to say hi to everyone?”

Sometimes I thought Corbin hung out backstage to meet my pretty castmates, but the truth was, they were usually the dumbstruck ones. Even in a world of trained actors and actresses, his charm shone through. He flustered both my male and female counterparts.

After I’d dropped the flowers off in the dressing room I shared with some others, Corbin and I were listening in on a discussion with the director and some fans.