Close to You (Fusion 2)

“We’ll get you some more pain meds so you sleep through the night. You’ll be sore for a few days, but your recovery time should be fairly fast. You’re a healthy woman.”

“Before surgery, you told me you’d do your best to save the tube,” I say, and see Landon’s gaze whip up to the doctor’s. “Were you able to?”

The doctor sighs and shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, Cami. The damage was too great, and there was already infection setting in. I had to remove the tube.”

“Oh,” I breathe, and close my eyes. “So this means it’ll be more difficult to get pregnant later.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “But it’s not impossible. Your uterus and the other tube are perfectly healthy.”

But I’ve stopped listening to him. Not only did I lose the baby, but now it’s going to be a challenge to get pregnant again. We can’t have as many babies as I want. We’ll be lucky to have any babies at all.

“Cami?” The doctor frowns when I look back up at him. “I’m going to order that medication for you. I think a good night’s sleep will do you good, and you’ll feel better tomorrow. You’re lucky that you came in when you did. If you’d waited longer . . . well, the outcome could have been very grave.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Landon says, and shakes his hand, then sits next to me again. “Why did you wait so long to go?”

“I thought I was just not feeling well,” I reply shortly. I’m sad, but now I’m getting angry too. Why did this happen? Everything that I’ve ever wanted was in the palm of my hand, and in the span of a heartbeat, it was ripped away.

I need a few minutes alone. To gather my thoughts, to grieve for just a few minutes on my own.

“Landon, can you please go?”

“What?” he asks, surprised. My voice is calm. I’m not being mean or hurtful. Hurting him any more is the last thing I want.

“I just need to be alone for a little while.”

“Cami, I really don’t want to leave you by yourself.” The hurt in his eyes is killing me.

“I only want a few minutes of privacy. Please.”

But he stubbornly shakes his head.

“Maybe we should go somewhere when you’re feeling up to traveling,” he says, and I immediately close my eyes. “Somewhere warm,” he continues. “You can take a couple of weeks away from the restaurant and put your feet up. I’ll bring you cocktails and you can soak in some sun.”

“I don’t need to leave,” I whisper, and suddenly I’m just so fucking mad. At Landon. At the doctor. At Mia for not coming sooner.

At every fucking thing.

“Okay, well, you can take some time to stay home—”

“You know what,” I reply, and glare at Landon. “Maybe this was a blessing.”

“What?” He scowls and sits back in the chair, surprised.

“I mean, it’s good that it happened now rather than after the wedding because now you’re off the hook. You don’t have to be saddled with a wife and a kid that just slow you down.

“All you can talk about is leaving. Take me to San Diego. Take me somewhere warm. Well, you know what, Landon? I don’t want to leave. You do. You’ve never wanted to be here. All your life you’ve done everything you can to not be here. But I love it here. This is my home, and this is where my business is, and this is where I’m fucking happy.

“So maybe you should just go.”

“You want me to go,” he says, perfectly calmly.

“Yes, that’s what I’ve been telling you. I need some time alone.”

I shake my head. I’m not crying. I’m boiling mad. I don’t think I’ve ever been this pissed off in all of my life.

“Just get out.”

“I don’t want to leave you, Cami. Not like this.”

Not like this.

“I’m fine, Landon. I was just fine before you, and I’ll be great after you. You don’t determine my happiness.”

He stands, but stays at the side of my bed for a few moments, just watching me, until I pick up my empty water cup and throw it at him.

“Get the fuck out!”

He blinks, and then he turns and walks out the door just as Riley walks in. She frowns back at him before approaching the bed. “Hey sugar.”

“Hey.”

“Where is Landon going?”

“I don’t give a fuck where Landon’s going. I told him to get the hell out.”

She’s silently surprised for a heartbeat, then drops into the chair Landon was in and says, “Excuse me?”

I stare at my best friend, blinking, thinking about everything I just said to her, and I can’t believe it.

“I sent him away.”

And now the tears come again. It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I bury my face in my hands and sob, barely aware of Riley petting my hair.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because I’m so sad and pissed off and confused!” I wail into my hands. “I lost our baby, and he’s talking about having all the babies I want, but I can’t do that, Riley. I can’t give him lots of babies. I don’t think I ever wanted lots of babies, and if he wants them, he should have them.

“And he’s always talking about going away!” I’m babbling now, barely making sense through my tears, and I don’t care. “He doesn’t want to be here, he was just here because he felt obligated to me.”