Finding Him (Covet 2)

I gritted my teeth and turned just as he moved to his knees and said, “The cancer hasn’t killed me yet, but you just might if you say no . . .”

I hid my smile behind my hand and shook my head. “You’re relentless.”

“I’m in love.”

“Oh, dear God.” I burst out laughing. “You don’t know me! I’ve been here twice.”

“Three times,” he corrected, his sandy-brown hair falling across his forehead. He was adorable even though I refused to admit it out loud. “The first time was when—”

“We don’t need to rehash the burrito incident.”

“Our hands grazed each other, and you know you did it on purpose.”

“Are you fifteen?”

“Twenty-six.” He grinned wider, his white, straight teeth almost blinding. “If you don’t say yes, I might start singing . . .” Behind me, the nurses groaned. “Hey, I have a wonderful voice!”

“Wear earplugs,” a nurse piped up. “Or just say yes and save us all from putting them in.”

I shook my head. “One date. That’s it.”

He stood and held out his hand. “Well, let’s go, time’s wasting.”

“Now?” I panicked and looked around me.

He pulled me down the hall. “Time’s wasting, K. This is called living. Why don’t we try together?”

Great, he already had a nickname for me. “Living?”

“Spontaneous living, because the clock stops for no one, and I like you. You have a beautiful smile and a big heart. And I know you like me even though you keep rolling your eyes. I’ll win you over. I’m told I’m very persuasive.”

“Or annoying,” I offered.

He squeezed my hand and stopped, then turned to face me. I hadn’t realized until that moment how tall he was, or how good-looking, maybe because I didn’t want to acknowledge any of it. I was horrible at dating, and he was a patient at the hospital.

“Life is meant to be celebrated, Keats, annoying cancer patient and all.” He winked and then twirled me and dipped me in the middle of the hallway. His lips pressed onto my neck like they’d been there a million times. The kiss was light, it was perfect. And it was the first time I felt that feeling you get when you’re with your person, the person you were destined to be with.

I was his.

And in that moment, he knew it.

“I have Twinkies and a chessboard.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “But don’t tell my nurses. Apparently multiple Twinkies are frowned upon.”

“Multiple? How many do you eat?”

“In a day?” He seemed amused. “Only ten, maybe twelve if I’m feeling fancy. Come on, let’s go, time’s wasting. Oh, one more thing.” He tapped my nose. “When you fall in love with me, and I promise you will, try not to be sad when I die.”

Horror washed over me. “What sort of—”

He silenced me with a hug and said, “Promise.”

I was already in his web.

I was already that far gone.

It took Noah minutes to win me.

And the universe took him away in a single heartbeat.

That is something I won’t ever find it in my soul to forgive.

Julian typed the last part of the paragraph and looked up at me. I knew he’d see the sheen of tears in my eyes, and the sheer strength it took to resist letting them fall.

“It’s okay to mourn him.”

“I don’t think I would stop,” I admitted.

“Mourning?”

I shook my head sadly. “Crying.”

“Would he want you to cry over him?”

I smiled. “No, he’d be pissed. It was one of his things: don’t waste tears on stuff you can’t change, stay hydrated.” I did a lame fist pump. “He seriously said that entire sentence to me with a straight face.”

Julian burst out laughing. “I think I would have liked Noah.”

“I’m sure the feeling would have been mutual.”

Julian made a face. “Just how much do you know about me? I mean other than the rich-playboy thing you keep tossing in my face. Thanks, by the way.”

I was so thankful for the subject change that I relaxed in my chair. It was late afternoon, and we’d already been through two chapters. Things were getting easier, or maybe as easy as they were going to get, all things considered.

I studied him a bit then sighed. “Well, I know you’re rich, I know you almost died in a head-on collision, went into a coma, came back not really the same . . .”

He barked out a laugh. “You wouldn’t have liked me precoma.”

“News flash: I barely like you now,” I teased.

It earned me another devastating smile from his side of the table. It was hard not to study him, the way his body moved, muscles rippling in his forearms like he couldn’t help it, and that playful grin that could turn serious and intimidating in a heartbeat.

“I would have used you.” Julian said it like using people for his own benefit was an everyday thing. “I may have cheated on her with you if I was tempted, and I was tempted often. I would have done everything in my power to make you like me, and I would have probably gotten bored by you or felt guilty for how I treated you, maybe both. You would have made my dad jealous, furious actually. He was always competing with me. I was skewed by a false sense of reality. I was taught as a Tennyson that the world was mine and rules didn’t apply. No, Noah would not have liked me—he would have seen right through me.”