Julian was quiet except for the soft tap of the keys. We’d been at it again for a few more hours, only this time he had more food delivered. As long as I ate, I didn’t feel sick. I was going to take a long vacation once this book was done. Emotionally, it was wrecking me, and taking a physical toll on my body.
“You never slept together.” Julian stared at his computer in disbelief. “I don’t know if I want to shake him for being so stupid or thank him for saving those parts of you for me.”
I sucked in a shocked breath. I couldn’t deny the truth. I wondered how I would have felt had I given everything to Noah . . . and then slept with Julian. “You made fun of me when I said I don’t normally do this. I don’t.” I smiled weakly.
“He was a good man, Noah,” Julian said, emotion thickening his voice, and then he stood. “I need to get ready for dinner.”
“Yeah, okay.” I tucked my hair behind my ears. “I should probably head back to my apartment and shower, clean up and—”
Julian was in front of me in an instant, then his mouth was on mine, softly teasing, coaxing my lips apart before pulling away. “Grab an overnight bag.”
“But—”
“Don’t argue.” He kissed me again. “Just until the book is done.”
I smiled against his mouth. “Why does it feel like you’re lying?”
He sighed then moved his mouth down my neck, his nose tickling my skin as he inhaled and whispered, “Because I’m going to keep coming up with excuses. I like my apartment better with you in it.”
I liked my life better with him in it. “I do too.”
“Good.” He kissed the top of my forehead. “When you need a ride, just call down to Barry, and he’ll have one waiting for you up front.”
I nodded and watched him disappear into the bathroom.
I hated that he didn’t try to persuade me to go with him, and at the same time I loved that he didn’t try to manipulate my emotions. He wanted me to be ready to be with him. I wanted that too. I really did.
I just needed to figure out a way to do it without feeling like I failed Noah and all the people who had invested in our story. I wasn’t falling, I was there, but my team had also been very upfront about the outrage generated by my last post. I mentioned moving on because I was trying to be inspiring, to offer hope, and instead my followers saw me as spitting on Noah’s memory.
The last two posts I’d done had been about writing the book, and the comments ranged from “Glad you aren’t moving on” to “You’ll love him forever!” And it killed me inside to think about Julian reading those comments, believing them, or worse, coming under fire because he liked me and I liked him.
I didn’t want to let down my followers.
But I also needed to live my life.
And I needed Julian in it.
Chapter Thirty-Three
JULIAN
“Hey, you made it!” Bridge walked around the table and slapped me on the back with one hand and then pulled me in for a hug I was ninety-nine percent sure was going to end up in multiple tabloids.
I understood Keaton’s reservations.
Didn’t mean it didn’t burn or make me want to throw something.
“Yup.” I hugged him back quickly and took a seat across from my ex-fiancée and my brother.
Had there ever been a more awkward third wheel?
Doubtful, highly doubtful.
I was ready to wave down the waiter and let him know to keep them coming when a drink appeared at my elbow.
“Bridge, know that I mean this with every fiber of my being—thank you for using twin sync, reading my mind, and ordering me alcohol.” I threw back the glass of fine whiskey and was ready to hug him again when he and Izzy both gave me a funny look. “What?”
“Our waiter hasn’t stopped by yet.” Izzy grinned and then hid behind her menu.
“Izzy, if you set me up on a blind date, I’m going to officially lose my shit. I’ve been typing a love story that I’m not part of all day every day, falling for a woman who refuses to see me in public, and all I want is to get through dinner, preferably drunk so I can go home and repeat the torturous process.”
Izzy’s smile was so big I was almost nervous.
Bridge looked equally excited.
“What?” I huffed.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned and nearly fell out of my chair as Keaton, in the black dress I’d purchased for her, pulled out a chair and sat down. “Not really a blind date if you already know the person, right, Julian?”
My smile was currently taking up my entire face. “You came.”