“If I know Julian, he cared,” she said softly. “He just . . . his only motivation is trying to prove himself to the man who’s always told him he wouldn’t be good enough.”
“Yeah, I see that now.” I put my hand on hers and kept it there. “He sent a check last month, and in all my stupidity and rage, I ripped it up. I was working two, sometimes three jobs to take care of Mom’s hospital bills, and I let my pride speak for both of us, when he was just trying to make something right.”
Izzy tilted her head like she was thinking. “So the trust fund with your name on it? From Julian?”
“I was uncomfortable with fifty grand, so he did what Julian does, he dumped in the fifty and added another zero then just kept adding. I don’t know what his end game was, but the point is, he cared enough to do that, and now he’s in the hospital and he’s not awake, Izzy, he’s moved his hands and toes and—” I squeezed my eyes shut. “When it counted most I failed him.”
“You haven’t failed him.” Izzy moved closer, then cupped my face with her soft hands. “Jul—” She shook her head. “I mean Bridge, look at me.”
Muttering a curse, I looked into her perfect green eyes, as bright as emeralds shining with tears. “You’re here now, right?” Izzy asked gently.
“I’m here, he’s not, Izzy. I’m living what he’s supposed to be living, I’m taking his place, I’m just the stand-in until he gets better. If he gets better . . .”
She flinched at that. “It’s bad then.”
“It’s very bad.”
“And Edward? How did he get you to do this? You don’t seem like the type of person who just says yes to that man.”
At that I smiled. “No, in fact we’re both lucky I’m not in prison for his murder.”
She laughed, and in that moment, I would have done anything to keep that laugh going, to keep the smile on her perfect face.
And it felt damn good to know that she was smiling at me, not Julian.
Shit, I was a horrible excuse for a brother.
“He offered to pay all of Mom’s medical bills, and he dangled a ginormous trust fund in front of me, with thirty percent equity in the company. Julian has thirty, I have thirty, and with the board’s shares we have complete control.” I sighed. “If he wakes up.”
“He has to wake up,” she whispered under her breath.
My gut clenched. “If I tell you something, will you promise not to judge me?”
“Maybe.”
I didn’t look at her, just stared straight ahead. “Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if he didn’t wake up, and I hate myself for it. I wonder what it would be like for you to say my name, not his, I wonder what it would feel like to earn you, and not feel like I have to make up for all his mistakes.”
She sucked in a breath. “I didn’t tell you about the broken engagement because a part of me thought the man I’d fallen in love with . . . had come back.”
She burst into tears, crumpling against my body. I pulled her onto my lap, rocking her while she cried.
“I’m sorry, Izzy, so fucking sorry, I should have told you sooner. I just—I was thinking of my mom, I was thinking of Julian, of Edward backing out, I’m so sorry . . .” I continued to rock her while her tears soaked my shirt, while the heat of our bodies started to make me sweat. “For what it’s worth”—God, I didn’t want to defend him—“I think the reason these last six months were so hard was because he was fighting this internal battle of loving you, but also wanting to please our father in the only way he knew how.”
“By cheating?” she sniffed.
“From what I’ve gathered, it sounds like he may have actually cheated once, and gotten hit on a hell of a lot more than that.”
“What about the maid?”
“That I can’t answer,” I said honestly. “All I can say is this. When people noted the difference at the board meeting, it was because I wasn’t a bullshitter, whereas Julian could charm a nun out of her gown. So maybe that’s the difference. People are just drawn to him, both the right and wrong people. It doesn’t help that he’s rich.”
She laughed. “No, no, it doesn’t.”
“Why did you stay, Izzy? Why did you put up with it? If you were that unhappy? That upset?”
Izzy pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Because I made Julian a promise too. A long time ago, I told him I would always stand by his side, no matter what, and I refused to go back on my word. We were best friends who became so much more, and I knew he was struggling to gain your father’s approval. And he—he said he was sorry about the cheating, and he seemed so sorry about it, and then the closer he got to becoming CEO the more distant he became until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was suddenly faced with the stark realization that my universe was him, and I didn’t really have an identity outside of him. I was afraid. Afraid to have someone as powerful as Edward come after me. I had no money, no job. Everything I have on this earth belongs to Julian.”