Wow. I couldn’t believe how much time had passed. “Yeah.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Mom asked Jackson.
“Uh…” Jackson struggled to answer the question even though her interest seemed harmless. “No…no girlfriend.”
“Take your time,” Mom said. “You want to find a nice girl to settle down with. It’s better to wait for a truly fantastic woman than to settle for someone mediocre. You two are too handsome for ordinary.”
My mom still gave me advice without even realizing it.
“Keep waiting, Jackson,” Mom continued. “I’m sure there’s another Rome out there for you.”
Rome smiled at the compliment.
Jackson still looked sick.
I nudged him in the side, encouraging him to talk to her like she was a normal person.
Jackson cleared his throat. “So…what are you making?”
“A scarf.” She held up the piece she’d constructed. It was only halfway completed, but it was a nice mixture of colors, perfect for springtime. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever wear this, but I thought it would look nice.”
“Yeah…” Jackson cleared his throat. “It is nice.”
I knew I couldn’t push Jackson too hard. He wasn’t good at dealing with his emotions. I wasn’t much better, but I could handle difficult situations a little better. “Maybe you could wear it with a dress or something.”
“Exactly what I was thinking.” She eyed Rome before she turned back to her knitting. “But I think Rome would look much better in it. Just let me finish this up, and you can take it with you when you go.”
“Oh…” Rome flinched at the offering. “Thank you…that’s sweet.”
“A beautiful scarf for a beautiful girl,” Mom said. “It’s perfect.”
Rome smiled, her eyes full of tears.
Even when my mother didn’t know who we were, she still treated us exactly the same way as she would if she knew Jackson and I were her sons. That was the kind of person my mom was, always making everyone feel like family. My dad was such an ass to her. I was grateful she didn’t remember him.
Jackson must have had the same thought because he suddenly excused himself to use the restroom. “I’ll be right back…” He left the patio and retreated back inside.
Rome watched him go, sympathy written on her face.
I decided to follow him, knowing he needed some comfort in this dark time. Rome engaged my mom in conversation, so I slipped away without notice. I walked inside and reached the lobby where Jackson had taken a seat on one of the comfortable couches.
I sat right beside him, our knees almost touching.
Jackson stared at the floor. “Sorry…I just…I don’t know.”
“I get it, man.”
“She’s exactly the same, you know? She just doesn’t remember things.”
“Yeah, her personality hasn’t changed.”
“I feel like I’m talking to my mom…but she doesn’t know I’m her son…but I feel like her son.”
I nodded. “I get what you’re saying.”
“Makes me happy, but it also makes me sad.”
Those were the exact emotions I felt every single time I came to visit. “I want to tell you it gets easier, but it doesn’t. I guess I’ve gotten a little numb now that I’ve been visiting her more often, but even then, it’s not easy seeing her like this. But you know if the situation were reversed, she’d visit us every single day.”
Jackson showed his agreement with a nod. “Yeah…now I feel guilty.”
He should have been visiting her with me this entire time, but I certainly didn’t think less of him for it. “Don’t feel guilty. I know your absence isn’t caused by indifference, but pain.”
He finally pulled his gaze from the floor and stared straight ahead. “Rome is good with her.”
“Rome has a special effect on people.” She’d worked her magic the first time I laid eyes on her. After all this time, I was still just as obsessed as I was then. “Mom never remembers her, but she always falls in love with her every time she comes to visit.”
“Yeah, I can see why you’ve fallen in love with her.”
I didn’t agree with the statement, but I didn’t contradict it either. Love was a complicated emotion that was too pure for me to feel. My father claimed he loved my mother, and then he turned into a complete nightmare.
“I guess I can go back in there now. Just needed a moment to calm down. This is a lot harder than I expected it to be.”
“Just remember, Mom is in a great place. This facility takes good care of her, cooks for her, takes care of her medications. She’s in great health too. She does her hair just the way she used to, wears nice clothes…she’s the same.”
“Yeah, I know.”
I patted him on the shoulder. “Let’s get back in there. Visiting hours are over in about an hour.”
“Okay.” He took a moment to compose himself before he stood up, rising to his full height. He nearly as tall as I was, only about an inch of difference between us. “Let’s do this.”