I stared at her in awe, surprised someone had the confidence to be rejected then hold her head high. She had misplaced faith in me after I hurt her. Despite everything I’d claimed, she still believed otherwise. She valued herself and noticed the way I treated her, assuming there was more underneath my cold exterior. “I appreciate how well you’re taking this but—”
“I know what you’re going to say, so you should just stop.”
“And what am I going to say?”
“That you don’t love me and never will. That you don’t see a future for us. That it’s just not in your nature. I’m sure you believe all of those things, but I know better. For the past six months we’ve been together, I’ve seen you change. I’ve seen you open up and take me in little by little. I understand it’s hard for you. Believe me, I do. But one day, you’re going to finally admit to yourself how you feel about us—about me. You were patient with me when I asked you to be, and now I’ll be patient with you. I don’t need to hear you say you love me—because I know you do.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off her, mesmerized by this powerful woman. When she put her mind to something, she didn’t change it. I could correct her as many times as I wanted, but it wouldn’t make a difference. The honorable thing to do was to walk away from this relationship since I couldn’t give her what she deserved. But I was too weak for that. Rome made me happy, and I wasn’t ready to let her go. I wasn’t ready to walk away from the sexiest woman I’d ever laid eyes on. I was a selfish man, and I couldn’t stop myself from being selfish.
She grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head, revealing her perfect tits for me to enjoy. “Now, make love to me.” She stared me down with green fire in her eyes, looking unbelievably sexy. Her confidence turned me on more than her submissiveness. It was a paradox I couldn’t explain. I didn’t bother to contradict her and tell her that I didn’t make love to anyone. Instead, I grabbed her by her tiny waist and threw her on the couch, my cock harder than ever before. I wanted to be deep inside her, to take everything she was giving me. I wanted to give her so much of my come she couldn’t handle it.
And I wanted to do that for the rest of the night.
I sat at my desk in the office at Ruin. The bass from the music echoed down the hallway and reached my ears if I concentrated hard enough. The rhythmic beat was constant, shaking the foundation as well as the walls of this place.
This club once belonged to my father, but he used it in more sinister ways. Looking to make a quick buck from abducting young women naïve enough to enter a place like this out of curiosity, he sold some of them into sex trafficking. Others were made into his own prisoners. I grew up watching him whip women until they convulsed on the floor.
I promised myself I would never be so cruel, that I would lead a different life from my father. I upheld that promise—but not entirely. I’d inherited his need for pain, to hurt women to get off. I enjoyed the same things he did, but in a purely consensual manner. My crimes were nothing compared to his, but I still wouldn’t consider myself to be a good man.
Once I took over this place, I made a lot of changes. You couldn’t walk inside unless you were twenty-one years of age. We had a strict security system that inhibited date-rape of any kind. If a woman said no, she said no. End of story.
Other than that, members were free to do whatever they wished.
What I loved most about Ruin was the freedom. I could be exactly who I was without shame. When I walked up to a woman and told her I wanted to spank her ass until it was red and irritated, she’d simply smile. When I’d tell her I wanted to suspend her from the ceiling, she’d extend her wrists and wait for the chains.
There was no judgment.
So this place was a safe haven for me.
A place where I felt most alive.
But having Rome in my life complicated things. I truly believed I could bring her here eventually. But now that she told me she loved me, said it with such conviction that I actually felt guilty for not saying it back, I wasn’t sure how likely that was.
I had to choose.
Could I really keep running Ruin while I had this special kind of relationship with Rome? Shouldn’t she know about it right now? Shouldn’t she know where I went at night when she didn’t sleep over? She trusted me, and now I felt dishonest for not telling her who I really was.