Which was a relief.
I could hold off on sex for four weeks, as impossible as it seemed, but I couldn’t share my bed with someone. That was a hard limit, and there was no way around it. If she really wanted to spend the night, I had a spare bedroom for her to use. But since our relationship was different than the usual ones I had, it would be a difficult conversation.
I hoped I could avoid it as long as possible.
I went to Ruin late that night to check on a few things. I couldn’t walk in during the day because I was needed at Humanitarians United, so the late evenings were the best time. And if I kept seeing Rome, the only time I could run my business would be when she was at home and asleep.
I felt dishonest not telling her about my other business, but at the same time, I didn’t think it was any of her business. She’d only shared a small amount of her past with me, so I didn’t feel obligated to expose more of myself to her. Besides, she would never understand.
When we fooled around last night, she surprised me with her aggression. She said the dirtiest things I’d ever heard, words that made me so hard my dick actually hurt, and she sucked dick like an Olympic contender. Maybe she would understand Ruin if I gave her a chance.
But now wasn’t the time.
When we started fucking, I would have a better idea of whether she would be a good fit or not. She seemed open-minded, intelligent, and she had a distinct talent when it came to foreplay, so it could work out the way I wanted.
She would be such an incredible submissive.
I let myself get carried away a few times. One instance with John, which I knew was a fuck-up. Rome was pissed at me until I played nice with the guy. And the second instance was when I treated her like a submissive and commanded her to suck my dick.
Thankfully, she went with it.
But I had to be more careful from now on. If I came on too strong, I could push her away entirely. And I couldn’t afford to lose this woman. She did incredible things to me. Just a simple look was enough to get me hard. No woman ever had this hold on me. No woman had ever made me abstinent for four weeks.
It was a record.
I moved through the crowd of dancers on the floor and passed the bar before I headed to my office in the back. On the way, I saw Jackson grinding up against some woman in a gas mask. I hoped he wouldn’t see me.
Of course, he did. “I was wondering when you would show your face in here again.”
I walked inside and ignored him, unbuttoning the front of my suit coat before I sat down in my leather chair. “I was wondering when you would come up for air from that friend of yours out there.”
He fell onto the couch facing my desk, wearing a navy blue suit with a vest underneath. Black and blue. They were the two colors we usually wore. We looked so much alike people couldn’t tell us apart sometimes. But I always wore black, and he always wore blue. That usually helped people. “How’s she doing?”
I assumed he was talking about Isabella. “We had words. She pissed me off. End of story.”
“What about the beginning? And the middle?”
“Nothing substantial.” Isabella pissed me off. She became emotionally attached, and now she was haunting me with her baggage. I never deviated from our agreement. She did. But somehow, I was to blame for it. “She’s upset with me, and she’ll be upset for a long time.”
“It’s because of Rome, isn’t it?”
I didn’t like it when he said her name. Far too possessive. I wanted to be the only man to ever say her name, but of course, that was ridiculous until she became my sub. Then, I could give her a whole new name altogether. “Isabella blames her for ending our relationship. I explained that wasn’t the case. I would have left anyway. She doesn’t see it that way.”
“Women are jealous. No way around it.”
“If she expects me to feel bad for her, I won’t.” She could threaten to jump off a building, and I still wouldn’t do a goddamn thing. I’d been a prisoner once before, and I wouldn’t go down that road again. It was one of the reasons I lived a life of dominance. No one could cage a beast like me.
“What now?”
I shrugged. “I tried to find her a new Dom, but she didn’t want one. She’s on her own now.”
“I wonder if she’ll come back in here.”
“Hope not.” I hoped I never saw her again. If Isabella had been mature about our breakup, we could have remained good friends. I still would have respected her and cared for her. But this childish behavior made me question the entirety of our relationship. Like a smoke screen, it made me wonder what we truly had.