Love by Association

A fresh soapy scent came with her into the room.

“You smell like Johnson.” He hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. But he was still a bit off his game.

“She smelled like me.”

In sweats and a T-shirt, with her hair in a ponytail and no makeup, she curled up on the opposite end of the sofa, tucking bare feet in between the cushions.

It touched him...the way she tucked those toes.

He’d kissed those toes.

“I’d offer you a glass of wine, or a beer, but I don’t have any.”

“You got Scotch?” She’d said in New York she drank Scotch. Had that been Chantel Harris? Or make-believe?

“Yeah, but I save it for...well, anyway, I don’t drink on Sunday afternoons.”

“Are you being deliberately difficult?”

She didn’t even blink. “I don’t think so.”

“I fell in love with a fantasy.” There. It was done. He could move on now.

“Yeah.” Johnson would have said, “Yes,” with those same lips.

His penis was growing, just like it had the first second he’d laid eyes on Johnson.

“So what was real?”

She shook her head, the swinging ponytail distracting him. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“We spent four weeks together. Was anything you told me during that time real?”

Frowning, she picked at her fingernail. If he wasn’t mistaken, she was trying to get it to come off. “I only lied to you when I absolutely had to, Colin.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I guess because you haven’t asked it in a way that tells me what you want to know.”

“Did you feel...anything...between us?”

“Beyond great sex, you mean? That’s what you’re asking, isn’t it? You want to know if, when I slept with you, I prostituted myself for the job?” Her tone was unfamiliar. Harsh.

The fourteen-year-old girl after her stepfather had entered her room.

“No. I was there. You weren’t faking.” And maybe that was why he was with her now. He sure as hell couldn’t figure out another reason. “I want to know if, when you said you’d like to be exclusive with me, you were saying it because of the job or because of me.”

“Both.”

He wasn’t sure what to do with that answer. Or even why he’d felt compelled to ask the question.

He remembered that first night they’d made love, before it had gone that far. They’d been sitting on the couch, and she’d started to cry...

“Those tears, they couldn’t have belonged to Johnson,” he said aloud.

Chantel stared at him hard. “What are you doing, Colin? Why are you here? What do you want from me?” Rapid-fire questions issued as a challenge.

“I can’t just walk away.”

“I’m not rich. I hate makeup. I live in a one-bedroom apartment and work for a living.”

“I like your apartment.” It reminded him of her hotel room. Which was a ludicrous thought, until he realized that what he looked for in that room was anything that spoke of her, and what had stood out to him was her neatness.

The apartment wasn’t much larger than her hotel room had been and was just as neat.

“It feels good, sitting here,” he said when she remained silent. She wasn’t kicking him out.

Johnson would have been too polite to do so. But Harris? He had a feeling she’d have him out on his ear in seconds if that was what she wanted.

“Julie’s not going to let you go,” he warned her. “You have a friend for life there.”

“So does she.” Chantel didn’t miss a beat. “I already told her so.”

He was in way over his head.

“If I asked you out again, would you go?”

“I work second shift a lot.”

His heart started to pound blood to his nether region in a rush. “When’s your next day off?” He ignored the at-work part. For now. He was just trying to understand something.

“I’m on mandatory leave until Wednesday.” The way she ran her tongue over her lips was not a mistake. It couldn’t be.

“You want to have dinner with me tonight?”

“I can’t do the whole Johnson dress-up thing.” Crossing her arms, she pushed her breasts upward between them. Consciously?

Through narrowed eyes he watched her, not sure what in the hell he was doing. Not sure what she was doing, either.

Those eyes...he’d watched them move behind closed lids as she’d slept. Had wondered what she was dreaming. Hoped that if it was good, it was about him.

Two nights ago that body had been in his bed. And while it had been fantastic, there’d been no fantasy there. It had been very real.