Understood (Unspoken 1)

“I will. Want me to call Jeremy and Wes and have them keep an eye out as well?”

“I just spoke to Wes so I’ll call him. You call Jeremy.”

They rang off and Jake immediately placed a call to Wes.

“Did you get the story from Luke?” Jake asked as his way of greeting when Wes answered.

“Yeah, man, that sucks.”

“Ellie saw it. And she’s upset. I don’t know where she’s gone, but I’m looking now. Do me a favor. If you see her, make sure she stays put until I get there.”

“Will do,” Wes said. “I can have the other on-duty guys keep an eye out as well. If she’s out driving around, someone will see her.”

Jake thanked him and hung up. He backed out of Ellie’s driveway and put his brain to work figuring out where the hell she would have gone.

Chapter Nine

It was the last place Jake had thought to look, but in retrospect, he supposed it made the most sense. It was where it had all started.

He stared up into the bleachers of the high school football stadium to where Ellie sat staring out over the field. Where she’d watched him and Ray play as teenagers.

She hadn’t seen him yet. Her attention was focused on some distant object, or maybe she wasn’t seeing anything at all.

He started up the steps. When he got to the bleacher she was sitting on, he sat down beside her. He reached over to take her hand but didn’t speak. He wasn’t sure what to say anyway.

Tiny quakes emanated from her. Her hand trembled in his. A ragged sigh tore from her lips. It was a sound that ripped his heart right open. He knew she was battling to keep it together.

“Why?” she whispered. “Why?”

She broke off and turned her head away from him. But not before he saw her tears.

“I’ve never understood why,” she said brokenly. “I was faithful. I loved him. I supported him. Why did he despise me so much? Why now, when he’s been out of my life for two years, does he feel the need to destroy me?”

Jake wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him. He cupped her cheek in his hand and bent to kiss the top of her head.

“He’s a bastard, Ellie. You’re better than him. You’ve always been better, and he knows that. It eats at him. The only way he can justify the things he’s done is by tearing you down.”

Her body shook with her muffled sobs. Jake held on to her, not knowing what he could say or do to ease her pain. This helplessness scared him. He could feel her slipping away, back to the shell of a woman who’d barely existed after the divorce. He wouldn’t lose her to that woman.

Ellie buried her head in Jake’s chest, trying to absorb his strength and warmth. Maybe if she infused herself with enough of his steel, she wouldn’t hurt so bad.

“What am I going to do, Jake?”

He stroked his hand through her hair, gently sorting through the strands with his fingers.

“You’re going to hold your head high. That’s what you’re going to do.”

“Everyone in the world thinks I’m the reason for our divorce now,” she said bitterly. “They think I slept around on the Golden Boy and broke his heart.”

Jake pulled her away and cupped her chin in his hand. Then he bent to kiss her lips. She closed her eyes as yet more tears escaped.

“It doesn’t matter what they think.” He continued to rub his thumb over her cheekbone.

“The divorce was humiliating enough,” she whispered. “And now this. At least before all they had was conjecture. Now, they have Mr. Perfect, Mr. All-American, crying into a camera saying how horrible his wife was. If they didn’t hate me before, they’ll hate me now.”

“Is it important that they love you, Ellie?”

She flinched. “No. It’s not important. The only person I want to love me…” She broke off in horror at what she’d nearly admitted.

“Is who?” he prompted.

She shook her head, refusing to answer his question.

“Maybe I’m not that person, Ellie, but I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

Her gaze flew back to his face. Her eyes widened at his statement. “Always?”

“Always,” he said softly.

She opened her mouth then ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips. “I don’t understand.”

To her surprise, his eyes cast downward in an expression of guilt and a little sorrow.

“What is it, Jake?”

Her heart beat in a rapid staccato. She was still reeling from his declaration of love, but he’d always had feelings for her?

“I fell in love with you when you and Ray were seeing each other. After you got married, I distanced myself as much as possible because it was painful to see you with him. I wanted you, and I was as jealous as hell. If I hadn’t been such a dumbass, I would have seen what was going on in your marriage. I could have saved you.”

She sucked in her breath. “Oh, Jake.” She reached out to touch his face. Tears clouded her vision. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He captured her hand in his and turned his lips into her palm. “It doesn’t matter now,” he said in a hoarse voice. “What matters now is whether or not you love me.”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Their breaths caught and hitched. They both shook with suppressed emotion.

“I do love you, Jake. So much. I’m scared out of my mind to say it. I’m scared of what it will mean. But I do love you.”

He cradled her face in his hands. “Ellie, you don’t have to be afraid anymore. However we need to take this, no matter how slow, I’ll be here.”

She smiled and pressed her forehead to his. “I need you, Jake.” She shivered as she became more aware of the crisp air.

“Let’s go home,” he said. “My house. I’ll cook us some lunch. Build a fire. I know how much you like that.”

Tears shimmered in her vision. He was so determined to take care of her. And she wanted to let him, but she was so afraid to relax her guard. Even though she trusted Jake implicitly.

She wasn’t a moron. She knew that every man wasn’t out to hurt her. Jake in no way could be compared to Ray, but so much damage had been done to her confidence, to her ability to believe in her choices. No matter that she knew Jake would never hurt her, she still fought a choking panic when she imagined a relationship with him.

Jake eased her upward, wrapping a strong arm around her as he guided her down the steps.

“We’ll get through this, Ellie. Promise me you won’t let this asshole ruin what we have.”

She leaned into him. “I don’t know that I’ve ever told you, Jake, but thank you.”

He stoppe

d as they reached the bottom and looked curiously at her.

“For what?”

“For saving me that night,” she said quietly.

He pulled her into his arms and squeezed so tight she gasped for air. He tensed as though he’d say something, but no words ever came. He shook slightly against her, and then he relaxed his hold.

“Let’s go home,” he said.

Later, after Jake cooked lunch, he built a fire in the fireplace, and now he and Ellie lay on the couch watching the flames.

She was draped across Jake’s body, and he rubbed one hand absently up and down her back. There was so much she wanted to say, but she didn’t want to get into it right now. She was mentally exhausted after her emotional outburst before, and she didn’t want to do anything to ruin the intimate moment they were enjoying.

More than anything she wanted Jake to take her to bed and make her forget. When he held her, nothing else mattered. And he loved her.

Her chest swelled, and she physically ached with the emotion his admission had wrung from her. What would happen now? Was she strong enough to hold her head high in the face of what she knew was coming?

She hadn’t been out since Ray’s interview. She hadn’t yet been to work, fielded phone calls from people she’d known all her life. She hadn’t gone to eat in the local café where Ray’s picture hung, where the locals liked to brag on the hometown boy.

When she did venture out, she knew she would be greeted differently, if at all. And it bothered her more than she liked to admit. She was only human, and the idea of being a pariah in the town she’d grown up in hurt.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the week off?” Jake murmured close to her ear.

She sighed. “I can’t, Jake. No matter how long I put it off, I’m going to have to eventually face people. I’d love nothing better than to hide, but I can’t allow myself to do it.”

He squeezed her in a hug. “At least take tomorrow. I have to run to the jobsite, but what do you say we do something fun. Maybe go to Houston to do some Christmas shopping.”

She smiled. He went to such great lengths to protect her. “What’s with you and shopping lately? The only kind of shopping I’ve ever known you to like is grocery shopping and only because it involves food.”

He tweaked her ass with his fingers. “I’m trying to be sensitive. Isn’t that what you women want? A man who’ll go shopping with them, listen intently to their every complaint and be all sympathetic?”

She laughed. “You’re starting to sound like a pussy, Jake.”

He twisted his hand in her hair and gave it a yank. “Smart-mouthed heifer. So are you saying you don’t want to go shopping with me?”

“No, not at all. We can go. I need to clean up the mess in my bedroom. I can do that while you’re at the jobsite. You going to buy me lunch in Houston?”

“No,” he said. “I thought I’d let you starve.”

“Now who’s the smartass?”