Inevitable (A Kingpin Love Affair 2)

“How could you even bring that up, you sick bastard?”

“Or maybe it was the lies. We all know there are tons and tons of lies. Your whole life was a giant lie. No answers were ever given. How’s that feel?” I sneered.

Her fists pounded against my chest, and her legs tried every move possible to get me off her, but I wouldn’t allow her to run from this anymore.

“Learn to acknowledge the hurt and pains in your life, Bree. At least you can fucking feel them. At least your heart is still beating. DEAL WITH IT!” I all but screamed at her. Her hits became more powerful, and as I pushed more weight on her, I could hear her cries growing louder.

“She lied. She fucking lied to me. No one gave me answers. No one cared, and now I have no one.” She huffed out her words.

“So she fucking lied. What do you want to do about it?” I growled in her ear.

“I want to hate her. I want to know why she lied. One note is meant to make up for close to twenty years of lies.”

“It’s a note, Bree, not your life story. I know you want answers, but there are none to be found.” My tongue darted out, licking a path directly to her ear. She tasted like cinnamon and sugar. My mouth began to salivate.

“I want revenge, I want madness and chaos. I want people to pay.” She snarled every word with a demand.

“Revenge only gets you so far. Killing John didn’t make me feel any better, Bree. It’s a temporary feeling really. It’s a false sense that maybe—just maybe, it will make you feel better to get even. Maybe it will bring back the person you lost—but it doesn’t. It makes you feel worse because you inflicted the same type of pain on someone else. Yes, John deserved to die, but not by my hands.”

“Death was still yapping at his footsteps, you just helped him along.”

“Stop this. This isn’t you. Don’t let this shit consume you. Deal with it.”

“I hate you. I hate everyone. I can’t handle this!” she barked, her chest rumbling with my own.

“You hate me?” I questioned.

“Yes, I hate you,” she roared.

“Good,” I said, pressing my lips against her firmly. She bit at them so hard I could feel the skin break. Blood seeped out of the wound and onto both our lips, but I didn’t care. I still wanted her. I wanted her to feel something more than what she was experiencing.

Her fists turned into grabby hands real fast as she pawed at my shirt.

“You want my cock? You want to take your frustrations out on me? Then show me, tell me what you want, Piccolo…” I purred against her skin. She whimpered, turning her face away from mine.

“Make me forget,” she begged. Make her forget? There was no forgetting. She needed to know it.

“There is no forgetting, Bree. It is dealing and then not dealing. I refuse to allow you not to deal—so you will deal.” Licking away the salty tears from her cheek, I smirked.

“But I can make you remember. I can make you remember why you’re alive. I can make you heal. I can bring you to the crossroads, Bree, but you have to be the one to walk across.”

“You hurt me, you fucking broke me. You think John was a monster, but you’re no better. You hit me just like he hit my mother. If anything, you’re the same.” She sneered. Fuck! She was right, I was no better a person than John, but I loved her. I loved her with my whole heart and the difference was John had used her. I hadn’t. I never would.

“You have to know I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry, Bree. I am so fucking sorry! Do you think I will forget? Because I won’t. I will never forget the night in the cabin… never forget how I hurt the one person who saved my life. I fucked up. I was lost inside my head only wanting revenge.” My mind drifted back to Mack… I would paint the motherfucking walls with his blood when I was done making him pay.

“I thought the one person I had finally fallen in love with betrayed me and I was hurt. All I saw was red and Mack… Mack sounded so fucking believable. I hate myself more than I have ever hated anyone for touching you in any other way than with love. DO you hear me? Understand me right now. I know I was a bastard for hitting you, and it will never happen again. No matter what the circumstance, I will never lay a hand on you again, Bree.”

Her eyes told me she didn’t believe me, but her body did. She melted into my hands like chocolate. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. All the shit going on between us didn’t matter nearly as much as piecing us back together.

“I can’t handle the pain anymore…” she cried out, fresh tears running down her cheeks. She was doing something other than screaming and fighting. Wrapping both my arms around her, I cradled her head against my chest, rolling us over until I held her body against my own.

“You don’t have to. You don’t have to…” I whispered into her hair, holding her together as she fell apart.

“I miss her. I miss my old life. I just want it all to go back to the way it was…” she pleaded as if I could make all her dreams come true. The truth of the matter was, I couldn’t fix what had already been done, but I could make the future better than the past had been.

“I promise to take care of you, to make sure all your needs are met. I will make it all worth it, just stay with me. Hold onto who you are. Please.”

This is who we both were and it had never been shown to anyone. The rawest of all raw.