Inevitable (A Kingpin Love Affair 2)

“Come in,” I mumbled, picking up one my many books I had somehow managed to get here. It was strange how much pleasure reading could bring you. It could pull you from your current life and make all the pain go away.

I heard the creak of the door as my eyes lifted to meet James coming in the room. He looked wearily around the room as if I were going to lash out at him.

“Can I come in? I just want to talk to you for a second.” He hesitated for a moment, which only made my curiosity grow. What did he want to talk about? I thought we already said everything we needed to say.

“Sure,” I said smiling.

He crossed the threshold closing the door firmly behind him. It was then the walls felt as if they were closing in on me. John’s death was still fresh in my mind and even if James was my father, it was hard for me to see things like that yet.

“I just wanted to see how you were handling everything? If you had any questions?” His eyes smiled. Literally smiled, as if he were happy for the first time in his life. I knew I meant something to him—that finding me, alive and well, was something he never expected.

“I’m handling it…” I mumbled over my words. How was I handling it?

“You know… you don’t have to handle it alone. I am here for you. I want to be here for you, but you have to allow me to be.”

I looked at him sideways for a moment as he stood in front of me. Was I really not allowing myself to let him in or to heal after all the damage had taken place?

“I know… I just… I don’t know how to deal with all of this. It’s like part of me thinks it’s all a lie, maybe even a dream. Like somehow I’ll wake up from it all and things will be different.” I shrugged my shoulders.

He smiled softly. “I used to think the same thing when I found out your mother was dying. When I found out about you… My heart broke… To have something truthfully yours ripped from you.” My eyes began to sting with unshed tears threatening to fall.

He knew heartache. His was different from my own, but he still knew it. It seemed as if we were two sides of the same coin. The same book just different stories.

“I’m sorry. I truly am. I never knew, and had I known, I would’ve said something. I would’ve done something. I loved John because he was all I had, but if I had known you were my father… if I knew your blood ran through my veins too, I would’ve made an effort to be part of your life.” The words left not only my mouth, but also my heart as I spoke them to the father I never knew I had.

“I just…” He paused. “Now that I know about you, Bree, you can’t expect me to not want… no, need to be a part of your life. So I want to try to be the father you need now. I know I can’t go back in time, but if I could, I would.” My feet closed the distance between us, and in a matter of seconds, I found myself in his arms.

I didn’t really know this man, but it was evident he loved my mother. I could feel the love he had for me each time he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. I am the person they created together, out of love and for that reason alone, I know I have to try.

“I don’t want you to not be in my life either.”

“Then let’s cover the distance, years, and months once separating us. Let’s attempt this father and daughter relationship… I haven’t always been the easiest to be around, I mean, just ask Jared.” He sighed. “But I want this to work… Sam would have wanted that.” The mention of my mother’s name caused a shiver to run down my back. I knew in my heart, especially after reading the letter from her, she would have wanted it just like he said.

“So we try then.” He gently pushed me back to look into my eyes. I think he needed to see I meant those four words. “You mean that?” he asked anxiously.

“Hey…” I could hear Jared’s voice on the other side of the door as James wrapped his arms around me engulfing me in a tight hug. His hold was tight as if he was trying to embed an imprint of me into his skin—as if he might lose me again.

“Are you ready?” Jared asked peeking around the corner, hoping I wasn’t naked I was sure.

I ignored him for a moment. “Yes, I’m sure—Dad.” The words eased from deep within me, and I knew when I said dad now, I really meant it.

With one last tight squeeze, James released me with a smile on his face as he slipped out of the bedroom past Jared.

“What was that about?” Jared questioned, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“That was none of your business, what do you want?” I changed the subject standing before him in a defensive stance. I still wasn’t sure about Jared. Some days, we clicked and other days, we were like water and oil on two very different ends of the spectrum.

He watched me as I watched him, our eyes colliding.

“Right… Well, whatever it was, you’re holding us up.”

“From what?” I sputtered, clearly taken aback by his comment. What the hell was he talking about? I wasn’t holding anyone up.

“From going to the grocery store.” Jared sounded surprised, and I had no idea why. No one told me anything.

Huffing out a breath, I shook my head. “What are you talking about? I’ve never gone to the grocery store with you since we’ve been here. Why now all of the sudden?” It wasn’t a strange question really with the way Zerro had been acting and now Jared raising my suspicions.