Indebted (A Kingpin Love Affair 1)

“What about him? Tell me everything or so help me fucking God, I will cut your throat open and watch you suffocate.” Each word is something I mean. I don’t make promises; I just do it.

“I work with him…” Tilting my head at him, I grip his shoulder harder. “What are you doing on my property?”

“I can’t tell you…”

“Well, that’s a shame then…” Taking the knife, I slide it across his throat. Blood pools from him as if he is a leaky faucet. I watch the life leave his eyes as his last breaths are nothing but gurgles. Then I bend down, place a kiss against his forehead, and go on with my way. I will find out who it is he worked for and what they wanted.

Bree

“Let me the fuck out of here!” I scream as my hands grip the bars with a ferociousness that hurts my skin. I have been locked down in this hell hole for days. The only way I can tell if it is day or night is from the tiny small window placed above my cell that has bars across it.

The only things that can be heard are my pointless pleas for release. Zerro said he would come back, but that was two days ago. Two fucking days I have sat down here waiting and silently hoping for him to come. Then again, at the mere mention of his name, I want to gouge his eyes out.

He causes butterflies to erupt in my stomach, but at the same time he makes me want to puke. The thought of being attracted to him—wanting him – makes me sick. How can I want such a heartless killer? It is as if God is playing a cruel game with my emotions.

Since listening to my own pleas is exasperating, I pull myself away from the bars and throw myself onto the make shift bed. There is no way out of this hell hole other than through the door that I obviously don’t have a key to. Mack hasn’t come down to check on me for hours, but I am relieved about that. He scares me and creeps me out. I know if given the chance, he would fuck me and then kill me without a second thought.

When he came down the time before last, his neck had purple bruises on it. He looked as if he had been choked, but I was not going to ask him about it. I don’t think Zerro has it in him to kill his own kind, family or friends. It doesn’t seem like something he would do.

Neither does keeping me alive, but here I am. He has yet to hurt me, at least in a manner that makes it so he is actually doing so. The bruise on my face isn’t okay with me, but it is completely different than being beaten. He hasn’t touched me, and mostly everything he does is a mind game…

I am not afraid that a part of me wants him. It is a dark part of me, something that craves the fear and darkness that only he can bring out in me. I am not stupid, though. I know the path that he is on that will only lead to death. I don’t want that; I want to live. I want to be happy and go to college and grow old with someone who loves me.

The very thoughts make me think of my mother and the days before she died. She begged me to make promises to her. They were petty, little things, but I agreed to them simply to put her mind at ease. She was already going through so much, and if making a promise made her day better and brought the life back into her, I would do it.

My mind drifts to the most important promise I made. . .

“Promise me. Promise me, that you’ll take care of your father… He’s a man, a stubborn one, but with your guidance he can move on.” Pain showed in her eyes and I knew how hard it was for her to ask me to do something like that. She had always been the one to carry the weight, the one who made sure everything is okay.

With tears in my eyes, I promised her. “I promise, Mom. I promise to keep him in line.” She smiled at my gently. I cursed God, wondering how he could take such a precious person from us. My mother must have noticed my pulling away because she spoke to me with so much love that I was shaken to the core.

“Don’t fret, child. I will always be here. Right in there…” She pointed to my heart. She had given me life, had shown me the meaning of love through her relationship with my father, and I had always thought she would be here.

“When you get lost or you’re worried and you don’t know what choice to make, listen to your heart. I’m in there and I’ll guide you the best that I can. Remember that…”

Her words still echo in my mind as I pull myself from the sad memories. Tears form behind my eyes, and though I am not afraid to cry because I know it doesn’t mean I am weak, I don’t want to. I don’t want to cry over my mom or over the debt I am paying in my father’s name. I want to smile, to be happy and move on from all of this. Someday I will. At least I keep telling myself that. For now I will have to deal. It doesn’t stop me from wondering what my mom would think, though.

What is my father doing right now? My heart tightens as I think of him all alone. Will Zerro let me call him? Let me check up on him? Will Zerro even let me go after all this? Doubts swarm me, fear owns me, and courage is the only thing keeping me going.

I burrow myself into my blanket as I let the doubts eat away at me. I can’t run, or I will die. Zerro has threatened me, and I know that it isn’t an open ended threat. Wait…