Remember Me (Broken Heroes 6)

He said it was my idea to get married and I don’t think he was lying because if I’m completely honest with myself, I do want to be married to him. Now I just need to figure out why there is this huge lump of dread and sadness in my gut about it.

Luke returns with some pills in his hand. He sits down next to me, and slides his free hand under my head, lifting it slightly so I can take the meds. He puts the pills on my tongue and grabs a glass of water from the nightstand, putting it to my lips so I can drink. His hardened facial expression tells me he is still angry, but his touch is nothing but gentle and caring.

He sits the glass back down and lowers my head back to the pillow, but he doesn’t get back up. As I look up at him, I realize that the sadness inside of me is shrinking while Luke is near, and I know it’s not that we are married that I’m concerned about.

“I love you,” I croak, and watch Luke’s whiskey eyes soften as he gazes into my own. “I just wish I could remember our wedding. I wasn’t even wearing a wedding dress, or got cake. No first dance. I didn’t get any of it.”

“That’s what you’re upset about? You want a big wedding? You can have the biggest wedding you want. We can have a reception this weekend, with all of the stuff you just said, and more. We’ll even get a cheesy DJ. You can invite whoever you want.”

Then it hits me. The real reason why the sadness won’t let me go. Invite whoever you want. His words are a reminder of how alone I am. I have no one to invite. No friends to celebrate with me, no mother who is sitting in the first-row crying, and no dad to walk me down the aisle, and give me away at the altar. I have no one—except Luke, and that’s just as sad as it is scary. As if sensing my sadness Luke reaches for me, his fingers intertwining in mine.

“What’s wrong? I thought that would make you happy, make you smile?”

“I have no one to invite. No friends, no family, no one.” My voice cracks around the words.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, baby,” Luke soothes, pulling me onto his lap. He wraps his arms around me, holding me securely to his chest. “We can do whatever you want, small or big wedding, I don’t care. The only thing that matters to me is you, and with me, by your side, you will never be alone again.”

I know he means it, what he’s saying, but it doesn’t make it any easier. At the end of the day, the only person I have is Luke.

“I’ll care for you till the end of time, until death takes me away from you, or you away from me.” He whispers into my hair, rubbing a soothing hand down my back, and I perk up, lifting my head, my lips find his like they’re a beacon of light. As afraid as I am of being alone, of relying on Luke, I’m equally afraid of not having him, of losing him, which makes all of this ten-times more complicated.

“I love you,” I whisper, and wrap my arms around his neck, praying that everything works itself out.

A few days later we find ourselves back in North Woods, in the home Luke made for us. I’m slowly getting used to the idea of actually being married. I’ve accepted that I love him, despite the things he has done and continues to do.

My life has changed so much over the last few days, but I am finally seeing that it has changed for the better. I’m still the same person, still me, except now, I find my eyes catching on the diamond ring adorning my finger. It’s strange to see a ring there, and even stranger to see one on Luke’s finger. We haven’t talked about Luke’s job once, but as he dresses in his jeans, and leather jacket, I know he’s headed out to do another job.

“Do you really have to go?” I ask perched on the couch.

Luke gives me a hard look, “Please don’t fight me on this, Grace. Things have been great between us, and the last thing I want is to fight about something that I cannot change.”

I nibble on my bottom lip, holding in my response. It’s not that he can’t change, it’s that he won’t, but there is no point in making a mountain out of it now. We’ve been down this road before and I’m over, trying to convince him to give up his job as a professional hitman, and instead, I’m worried about his wellbeing. I will not lose him again.