My fingers rub over her dripping center. As I touch her warm clit, tiny hands press against my shoulders, pushing me back. I want to laugh at her feeble attempt to push me away.
As if she’d be able to stop me.
Her nails dig into my bare flesh a second later, and an irritated snarl rips from my throat.
“You want this?” I lift my gaze, a sinister smile on my lips. When my eyes meet Sophie’s for the first time since I started touching her, it’s like a cold bucket of water has been doused on me. I realize then just how big of a fucking monster I am.
Fear has replaced the flickering need in her big blue eyes and tears now well in their depths. My gaze sweeps down her length at the heaving of her chest, at the shaking of her body. None of these things are proof she wants me. If anything, they’re proof she doesn’t, and that’s enough for me to pull back as if her touch is going to burn me alive.
The second her feet hit the floor, I backtrack. Her nightgown falls back into place, and I turn on my heels, punching the punching bag with brute force. I shouldn’t have fucking touched her, not when I’m like this…not when one single need can grip onto me and control me. I’m not myself right now. Keeping her at a distance is the best thing for both of us.
“Get the fuck away from me. Go into your bedroom until I come and get you,” I order, trying to calm my erratic breathing. I can still smell her all around me. Fuck, I almost raped her…I could’ve hurt her…I could’ve destroyed her.
The thought makes me sick. My gut twists into tight knots.
“Roman…” My nostrils flare, and I whirl around. Does she want me to fuck her against the wall right now?
“I’m sorry, I want you. I just—”
Walking right back up to her, my muscles tight, I cut her off. “If you don’t want me to fuck you until you bleed, until you’re nothing but a fucking puddle of body and cum on the floor, then you need to turn around, go upstairs, and lock your bedroom door. I’m not myself right now, and I can’t control what the fuck is going on in here.” I point to my head before clenching my fist and dropping it back down to my side.
She gulps, and I take a warning step toward her, forcing myself to give her a chance to escape me before I pounce. Before I can say another word, she whirls around and runs back up the stairs, damn near tripping over her own two feet. I smile once she’s out of sight. Plucking her discarded panties off the floor, I bring them to my nose and inhale the scent of her pussy before shoving them into my pocket for later.
The darkness encompasses me without Sophie in the room. I go back to the punching bag. Fucking her in this state will only complicate things. She deserves better—a man who isn’t me. I’ll be damned if I let my primal needs take those choices away from her, even if I want to, so fucking badly. I beat the fuck out of the bad until my muscles ache and knuckles bleed.
Tonight, I’ll show her the monster beneath the surface.
Tonight, I’ll get her to leave me the fuck alone.
***
“I can’t come tonight.” Ivan’s voice fills my ear.
“And why the fuck not?” I growl, my leg bouncing up and down. I need him and Violet there tonight. Without them, Sophie has no protection, and that puts her right in the line of a worse fucking danger than me. The time before last, someone decided to have a shoot-out in the crowd, causing mass fucking chaos.
“Violet is sick. I’m not leaving her to watch my brother get his ass kicked in some underground fight.” I shake my head, trying to figure out what the fuck I’m going to do with Sophie. She’s sitting on the opposite side of the room on one of the leather couches while Mac and Dev pour themselves a couple drinks inside my office at the gym.
I have said maybe five words to her since our incident in the basement earlier today. Mainly because I’m not sure what to say.
“What the fuck do I do with her?” My voice raises, gaining Sophie’s attention. She looks up from the book in her hand and gives me a weary expression. I know I’m making her uncomfortable and being an asshole, but I can’t help it.
Ivan sighs, frustration dripping from his voice. “Please tell me you stopped taking those pills, and I mean altogether. You’re acting like an asshole, and need I mention you’re still taking care of that girl until I can find somewhere for her to go?” I clench my jaw, feeling the rage spiral. Of course he’s only concerned about Sophie and her wellbeing.