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Days bleed together and I completely lose track of time. I don’t know how many days I have been here, all I know is that with each passing day I hope for Ivan to return. He is the only person who has treated me like a human being since I arrived here and I crave human interaction, touch, sound.
I’m so fucking lonely. I just want to see another person…they don’t even have to talk to me. I just don’t want to be alone anymore. My stomach is so empty it aches, throbs, but I can’t bring myself to eat anything.
What’s the point anyway? It’s not going to change the outcome of what happens to me. Maybe if I don’t eat anything I’ll lose some weight…and maybe then I won’t appealing to anyone?
Dinner or lunch whatever it is was served a few hours ago, telling me its either late afternoon or night time. My face still hurts, but not as badly as it did a few days ago. I look at my reflection in the mirror. An ugly array of purple, and green bruises mare my chin, jaw, and right cheek. The swelling has went down immensely, but I still don’t look like myself. My hair is a greasy mess on my head and my body has become sickly thin.
With nothing else but my own mind, I spend every day asking myself the same questions over and over again. Why did I go to that stupid club? Is Ella looking for me? When am I going to get out of here and what’s going to happen to me when I do?
I have no answers to my questions and that terrifies me. I don’t know why any of this happened to me and most of all I don’t know what my future holds. Parts of me wonder if I’m better of dying?
I crawl into a tiny ball and let the tears stinging my eyes fall. I cry for the unknown, for my future, and for the past I’m certain I’ll never get to go back too.
Chapter 3
Ivan
I’m just looking over the weapons export reports laying on my desk when someone knocks on the door of my office.
“What?” I growl into the air.
Gabe opens the door popping his head in as if he’s making sure I don’t shoot him on sight. I have been in an extra foul mood for the last week and my men have all noticed and most likely felt it, since I’ve been handing out ass kicks more often.
“What do you want?” I don’t even look up at him. I just keep sifting through the papers wishing he would just turn around and leave already.
“Sorry to interrupt boss but I thought I should tell you that one of the girl hasn’t been eating.”My head snaps up at his words and suddenly he has my full attention.
“Which girl?” I ask irritated. I really hope it’s not the same one as before. I’ve been trying to get her out of my fucking head all week but the image of her beautiful face, her big blue eyes looking up at me and how she felt cradled in my arms is permanently embedded into my brain. Everytime I close my eyes I see her in that damn room, alone, and cold.
“Number five.” I sigh at his words, of course it’s her. Out of the ten women on that floor it’s got to be her.
“For how long?” I ask uninterested
“Almost a week.” A week? A whole fucking week? I remember her face and how swollen it was when I left her. Maybe she can’t eat. Fuck, I should have let the doc check her out. No one is going to buy her if she is dead.
“I’ll take care of it.” Gabe stares at me for a second longer than I’d like, look at my like he is waiting for an explanation or something. I don’t owe this guy anything.
“Get the fuck out of my office,” I snarl at him and watch him scurry away shutting the door behind him. I shove the papers on my desk away from me and open the drawer underneath. I rummage through it until I find the pill bottle I’m looking for.
Demerol is going to numb her up, and help her sleep. I wrack my brain on what I’m going to say to her. I’m not sure what I’m going to tell her but I can’t let her starve herself.
I get up and walk out of my office, making my way down to the the cells. When I get to her cell I stop in front of the one way mirror and watch her for a few minutes. She is curled up on the mattress in the fetal position.
Most of her body is covered by my shirt that she is wearing and even though her eyes are closed she doesn’t look like she is sleeping. Her features are too tense. Her cheek and jaw are still bruised but her lip has mostly healed. Her face looks skinnier and I’ll bet anything she’s lost weight. What the fuck am I supposed to do with her?