I put it between my legs and pull the boxers on. I have to roll them up about ten time before they stay on but this is much better than what I had before. I pick the bloody underwear up off the floor cringing at the sight of them before tossing them into the waste basket under the sink.
Then I pull on the oversized sweatpants and sweatshirt enjoying how theavy the thick material rests on my skin.
When I step back out moments later Ivan is standing right in front of the door. He gives me a quick once-over and hands me a pair of socks. His face is void of all emotions and its like hes slipped a mask on.
“Thank you.” I sit back down on the bed and pull them on. The socks, just like everything else are way too big on me, but I couldn’t care less, warmth is all that matters right now. Ivan is standing a few feet away just watching me.
“It’s time to go back downstairs.” I nod, trying to be brave but on the inside I am so scared all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out.
We walk to the door together, every step I take adds a two pound rock to the contents of my stomach. Everything inside of me screaming to beg and plead with him to stay.
“I’m going to carry you again. Keep your eyes closes,” he warns before he bends down and picks me up just like before. I close my eyes and lean into him, determined to enjoy every last second of this.
Chapter Five
Ivan
I place her back on the filthy mattress in her cell even though every fiber in my body doesn’t want to. The thought of leaving her down her literally makes my chest hurt. She doesn’t say anything but her eyes tell me enough. She is begging me to take her back upstairs without a single word.
Beside the first time I’ve seen her she hasn’t ask me to let her go again, which makes this only worse. All she wants is for me to stay with her and if it wasn’t for the way she clings onto me, I wouldn’t even believe her.
How can she possible feel safe with me?
Shaking my head I turn around and walk out the door. A quiet sob fills the room and I can feel my heart crack wide open. Pushing through the expanding pain in my chest I step out and shut the door behind me. I start walking away thinking that I just need to get away and the need for her will fade. Instead, it gets stronger like an invisible force pulling me backward and I have to force my legs to move up the stairs.
Back at my apartment, I grab my jacket and my phone before I head back out. I need to get away from this place for a few hours to clear my head. It takes me ten minutes to walk through the heavily guarded compound and get to my car. It takes me another five minutes to make it through all the gates surrounding the building.
The whole time I can only think about one thing. The petite women I left curled up on the mattress in that cell and that I could never get her out of here unnoticed.
This place has more security than a level five prison. The only way she is going to make it out of here is with a collar and a price tag around her neck, or in a body bag but I refuse to let that happen.
That thought has me gripping onto the leather wrapped steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turn white. I drive around aimlessly for a long time before I end up in front of some bar. I have every intention of getting so drunk that I forget my own name but after I down my second glass of whisky I realise that I can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t sit here and drink my sorrows away while she is scared and alone in that basement.
I throw some cash on the bartop and walk back out to my car where I pass a couple on the way. They are holding hands and she is leaning into him while giggling at something he said. And just like that I find myself longing for something I have never wanted before… something I can never have, at least not with her.
Knowing that I can’t save her from getting sold is eating me alive. It feels like someone poured acid into my gut. I can’t change her fate but maybe I could at least keep her comfortable until the auction. I know its a horrible idea and that it won’t change anything in the end, but I just can’t go on like it’s not killing me to know she is down there. I could just go and sit with her… at least until she falls asleep.