“Yeah, I don’t like to fuck them down there. It’s fucking filthy in those cells and I don’t want to catch some disease.” Hearing Ivan talk so vulgar about me only makes me more scared. I know he’s lying to protect me, but hearing him talk about me like I’m nothing more than something to fuck scares me, and saddens me all at once.
“I hear ya. She does have a nice ass…I suppose she’d be worthy of fucking.” I feel a hand grab my ass but I don’t know who’s it is. I squeeze my eyes shut wanting the moment to end as the same hand reaches between my legs. I feel him grip me there, between my legs, and I want to kick and scream, tell him to stop, but I know that would just make things worse.
It wouldn’t just hurt me. It would hurt Ivan too. It would make him have to hurt me and even though I know he’s mad at me right now I don’t think that’s something he’d really want to do.
“Too bad I have an early meeting to attend or I would take her off your hands for a few hours.”
“She’ll be in the auction if you want to have her all to yourself.” Bile rises in my throat threatening to come out of my mouth if I don’t get it under control.
“I thought we only sell virgins at the auction?” The man isn’t asking, he stating.
“That’s why I only fuck them in the ass. Might as well use em them well they’re here. There isn’t any harm in preparing them for the world that’s to come.” The other man starts laughing and I have to concentrate on not throwing up.
I wonder if Ivan’s done this before? He’s either a really good liar or he’s done something like this before.
“I guess that’s one way to get around it. You take care now.” Yulie’s heavy footsteps move away from us and Ivan continues walking down the stairs. Once we’re back in the cell he walks right up to the mattress and drops me onto it. I look up at him but he’s already turned his back to me and is halfway across the cell.
“Ivan?” My voice comes out small and it trembles even though I try to stop it. He doesn’t stop walking, or turn around, and he doesn’t say anything either. He just walks out the door, slamming it shut behind him. The loud noise makes me flinch and a new set of tears make their way down my face. I feel sick and curl up into a tight ball in the center of the mattress wishing more than ever that I would have just kept my mouth shut.
“I’m sorry…” I whisper to no one in particular. My chest heaves as I sob into the dirty mattress. I want to go home. I want to see my sister, and go back to a normal life. I question what bad I’ve done in my life to deserve to be where I am right now.
I slam my fist into the mattress. I never should’ve gone to that club. I never should’ve listened to my friends. The tears keep coming and I know there’s no point in stopping them. My tears are the only thing I have left that are mine.
***
Two days pass before I see Ivan again. I spend most of that time crying in a fetal position. My hopes that he’s coming back to me were withering away with each passing hour.
The second meal of the day has already been served, so when I hear the door unlocking I perk up. When I see his large body appear in the door jamI almost jump up and run to him. Instead I just sit there frozen in place afraid to open my mouth. I don’t know why he’s here, hell he could be coming to get me to ship me away.
Without saying a word he crosses the room bends down and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder like he did last time.
“Keep your eyes closed,” is all he says before walking out and slamming the heavy door shut behind us. He starts making his way upstair faster than normal like he is in a hurry or maybe he just doesn’t want to run into someone else…then again neither do I.
He doesnt stop until we are in his apartment and the door is shut behind us. I open my eyes and see he is walking into the bedroom.
“Ivan?” I whisper, but he doesn’t answer. Instead he swings me from his shoulder onto his bed making me bounce on the soft mattress. I gaze up at him confused and a little scared but then I see his expression and I know he didn’t bring me up here to hurt me.