“I want to keep you, Mouse,” I whisper into her ear.
Her eyes open instantly, shock, and something else reflecting in her depths. “Keep? As in like property? Or keep as in something more?”
I smirk. “Maybe a little bit of both. I don’t really know. All I know is that I don’t want to have to hurt you, and I don’t think I can ever let you go, so maybe we can come to a compromise… an agreement.” I stumble over my words nervously, like I’m fifteen again and asking some fucking chick out on a date.
Mouse stares at me for a long moment, saying nothing. Then she pushes up onto the tips of her toes, sliding her slick body against mine.
She presses her lips against mine softly. “I like you, Xander, but I really like you when you’re the man you are now. When you drop the act and stop pretending that you are a monster. We all have a little bit of darkness inside us, but that doesn’t mean it has to define us.”
“I’m not pretending to be a monster, I know I am. And there isn’t just a little bit of darkness inside of me. There is a whole fucking truck load. It swallows up all of the good. It taints every fucking inch of my heart, and I can’t be the man that I am with you right now… not when we are out there. I can never show anybody this side of me. I shouldn’t even have shown it to you.” Fuck, I shouldn’t have.
“But you did, and now that I’ve seen this part of you, I’m not sure I can ever forget it exists.” Her tiny hands cup my cheeks, and I lean into her touch, reveling in it. It’s warm and it calms the fucking storm inside me.
Staring into my eyes, she continues, “You might think you’re past saving, but I don’t think so. I just think you haven’t found the one single person willing to go through heaven and hell for you.”
My heart thuds against my ribs, and I want to tell her I have… I really fucking do, but I can’t. Not yet. I choke down all the feelings threatening to escape me and clench my fists at my side. I feel sick, knowing I have to become him, but it has to be done…
“We really need to get ready.” I change the subject, pulling out of her touch, and she gives me a knowing smile. My mouse sees right through the bullshit and if that’s not the scariest fucking thing ever, then I don’t know what is.
I rinse all the soap out of her hair before I turn the shower off and step out to grab two towels. I wrap her up in a large one and dry her hair with a smaller one before leading her back into the bedroom. I sling one towel over my shoulder.
“I got you this dress for tonight.” I unzip the plastic bag it’s in and hold it up.
Her eyes go wide as she takes in the short red dress. The fabric is soft, but I know for a fact it will hug every single inch of her curves.
“Xander, you didn’t have to.” She smiles, running her fingers over the material.
“I know I didn’t, but I wanted to. Plus, the place we are going is not really a skinny jeans and sneakers kind of place.” I put the dress down on the bed and pluck the matching red thong and strapless bra from within the same bag.
She nibbles on her bottom lip, spotting the scrap of fabric. Fuck, would I love to know what she’s thinking.
“Get dressed, Mouse. Oh, and I look forward to seeing you in that thong later.” I wink and then press a kiss to her lips before pulling away, my cock stiffer than hell, reminding me of how much not only my heart wants her but my body, too.
Mine. All fucking mine.
Chapter 13
Ella
I glare at the four-inch heels Xander is expecting me to wear tonight. I can’t figure out how I’m going to manage walking in them without breaking my ankle or embarrassing him.
“Remember what you said earlier in the shower about you always catching me?”
Xander looks up from buttoning his shirt. “Yes, of course.”
“Well, I hope you meant it, because I will probably do a lot of falling in these.” I slip into the black heels with red soles and take a few unsteady steps. They are much more comfortable than I expected them to be, but it still takes me a few rounds of walking around the room before I start to look like a person walking instead of a newborn fawn.
“I’m sure you’ll manage, Mouse. You ready?”
I take another look at myself in the mirror. The dress is absolutely stunning and fits me like a glove. I blow dried my hair and straightened it, then did some light makeup. I didn’t want to do something that was too eye catching. My wrists are still an angry red-looking mess, and I really wish I had something to cover them up.